Sunday, April 15, 2012

#095 Interrupting (Prior Engagements)

Time away from family or social obligations is pretty rare for me these days; I quite enjoy having time to myself on occasion. So when I'm in the middle of doing something on my To-Do List and the people closest to me know that I'm busy doing something, I get extremely irritated when someone calls me "just to talk". It is even more annoying when I remind that person that I'm busy and they continue with the conversation regardless of my subtle indication of having something more important to do at the moment.

Don't get me wrong, occasionally I get the urge to call someone "just to talk", but I always ask them ahead of time whether or not it is convenient to proceed with leisurely conversation. If at any point someone indicates that the conversation must end, I will immediately wrap up the call regardless of whether or not my point was made – this conversation can always be completed at a later time. When others call me "just to talk" I expect them to treat me the same way, but unfortunately this is NEVER the case with one particular individual in my life.

Very often I am in the middle of doing something and this person will call, and I will remind them that I'm busy and I need to finish what I'm doing and that I will call them back later. They say they understand but that they "just wanted to tell me" whatever it was they called me about, but they continue to talk about their topic that has little value to me while I'm right in the middle of doing something.

It's not that I don't care what this person has to say: quite the contrary. What they have to tell me is probably relatively important, but if it can wait an hour or two or six, then it should. I end up having to be stern with this person, and they always end up being offended that I pushed them away from the call... but what else can I do? I politely tell this person that I'm busy, yet they continue to talk. If being rude or stern with this person is the only way to get my point across, then that's what I have to do.

Generally I won't even answer the phone if I'm in the middle of something, but this person will call a few times within a few minutes... that would indicate to me that the purpose for the call is important. So when I call this person back to find out why such frequent calls were placed in such a short amount of time, only to find out that they "just wanted to talk", I get PISSED OFF.

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