#103 Key Chains

Pretty much every adult these days keeps a minimum of two keys on a key ring: a key for their vehicle and a key for their residence. Some people also have just a few more or even many, many more keys on a key ring. Unless someone requires all of these keys on a daily basis, there really isn't much point to carrying around all of these keys all time, especially because they can get heavy and they tend make a lot of noise. In my opinion (in this case), simple is better.

However, if you (as an adult) have more key chains than keys, that's when I start to get annoyed.

First of all: what are you, 9 years old? Do you need to have a myriad of key chains so that you won't lose your house key to let yourself in after elementary school lets out for the day? Are you proud of your overly-abundant pile of metal and glitter and fuzz that you compare with your friends to show off how cool you are based on the number of obnoxious items on your key ring?

Second: if the sound of your key chains precedes you while walking through any area where people are located, you definitely have too many key chains. I can actually tell who is walking through my office area at work just by the sound of their key chains jangling away as they walk behind/past me. For fuck's sake, put that shit in your pocket or your purse! I don't want to hear that crap! If you MUST carry several keys and several key chains, at least silence them while you’re walking.

Third: what is the purpose of having so many key chains? According to Wikipedia, there are a multitude of uses and purposes for a single key chain. Mainly though, they are used for identification, advertising, souvenir, popular characters and nostalgia-related items. Do I think it's necessary to have a key ring with a key chain of the Eiffel Tower AND Stewie from Family Guy AND a tiny stuffed teddy bear AND a bottle opener AND a skateboard? No. Choose one and call it good. If you really need all of those key chains because you lose your keys often, you have bigger problems than all of the pressure and stress of selecting only one key chain for your key ring.