I work in an office with approximately 90-100 people. This building is kind of split up into different smaller sections, and at a maximum there are 21 people sitting in the same area as me.
Often, some of these people will be participating in the same teleconference. That is, several people will be on the same phone call at the same time. This becomes very frustrating to be nearby once the call gets underway because they're trying to talk over one another and end up being much louder than they need to be. In addition, sometimes one or more of them put it on speaker-phone at their desks, and there's a lag between when they talk and when it comes through the phone line. This creates an echo effect, and essentially listeners in the office are subjected to hearing one person speak twice.
Sometimes one or more of these people in the office will actually put their headset on mute, stand up, and speak to one another over the cubicles while at their respective desks. WHY???!?!?!??!?
Despite being aggravated by listening to participants speaking too loudly in the office space, and having to hear people's echo, my main gripe is this burning question: why don't they just book a conference room and get on the call together? There are several conference rooms available at any one given time. In fact, there is one less than 40 feet away from anyone in this area of the office! Not only would this solve the loud-talking and echo issues, but they could even talk amongst themselves without participating in the call if they chose to do so (side discussions), eliminating the obvious issue of satisfying one's own needs at the expense of others.
Showing posts with label inappropriate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inappropriate. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
#136 Sink Strainer Replacement
Like many households, my kitchen features a double sink. On one side there is a garbage disposal, and on the other side there is a drain with a basket-style strainer. For the most part, the strainer stays in the drain-only side, and only gets removed when there is debris in the strainer or if it deserves a run through the dishwasher. At least, this is how I handle the strainer. The other adult that I live with apparently thinks otherwise.
It is obvious when they decide to do the "cleaning" because I will find the sink in this state:
Let's say I want to pre-soak something (a heavy pot, perhaps) in the drain side because that side happens to be larger and more accommodating than the disposal side. Rather than just placing it in the sink, I have to first go make sure that there are no obstructions (like the fucking strainer) before I set it down. If the strainer is NOT in the drain, then I have to return the heavy pot to (probably) the stove, then go back and put the strainer in the drain, and then start all over again. Why can't I just assume the strainer is in place rather than having to check for it each time?!
I'm left wondering why this is necessary. Why not put it back in the drain? Why leave it upside down outside the drain? Did they want it to dry thoroughly? - can't that happen while it is sitting in the drain while the sink is not in use?? I seriously can not think of one single instance why it would be beneficial to leave it out of the drain.
It is obvious when they decide to do the "cleaning" because I will find the sink in this state:
Let's say I want to pre-soak something (a heavy pot, perhaps) in the drain side because that side happens to be larger and more accommodating than the disposal side. Rather than just placing it in the sink, I have to first go make sure that there are no obstructions (like the fucking strainer) before I set it down. If the strainer is NOT in the drain, then I have to return the heavy pot to (probably) the stove, then go back and put the strainer in the drain, and then start all over again. Why can't I just assume the strainer is in place rather than having to check for it each time?!
I'm left wondering why this is necessary. Why not put it back in the drain? Why leave it upside down outside the drain? Did they want it to dry thoroughly? - can't that happen while it is sitting in the drain while the sink is not in use?? I seriously can not think of one single instance why it would be beneficial to leave it out of the drain.
Friday, May 29, 2015
#135 Fire Hydrant Obstruction
I am a full-time resident of a community of approximately 700 people. However, every summer, the population of my community jumps to about ten times that. Many people have summer homes or cottages that they visit on the weekends, and from Memorial Day through Labor Day my community is a busy, bustling place. We locals call these people "cidiots." City + idiot = cidiot. Here's one of the many reasons: 
The Licensing and Regulatory Affairs in the state in which I live have posted press releases in recent years reminding residents to keep a 3-foot minimum radius of clearance from fire hydrants so that first responders can quickly access this essential equipment. These press releases are generally released during the winter months when snow removal isa total pain in the ass essential, but it really applies all year round.
I'm struggling to understand the logic behind placing the trash bags immediately surrounding the fire hydrant. This particular residence has at least 60 feet of street frontage, not including the driveway. Why was this location selected out of all other potential locations? Did the residents think that the trash collectors would not see their heaping pile of garbage bags if they were in a different location - perhaps 20 or 30 feet away? I mean, it is literally the trash collectors' job to drive up and down the street and collect the garbage at the side of the road. There could be no possible way that they would miss this heap if it were anywhere else along the property line.
Considering the location of this particular hydrant, I am extremely pissed off that these residents think this is acceptable. This is the closest hydrant to my house, and if a fire occurred and the hydrant needed to be accessed, this could potentially cause a delay with getting water onto the fire. I wonder if the people who dumped this garbage considered the same for their cottage? Oh right, probably not, because they don't really "need" their cottage. They would likely be pleased they could claim it as a total loss and get a big fat check to build a new cottage in its place.
So, yeah: cidiots.
The Licensing and Regulatory Affairs in the state in which I live have posted press releases in recent years reminding residents to keep a 3-foot minimum radius of clearance from fire hydrants so that first responders can quickly access this essential equipment. These press releases are generally released during the winter months when snow removal is
I'm struggling to understand the logic behind placing the trash bags immediately surrounding the fire hydrant. This particular residence has at least 60 feet of street frontage, not including the driveway. Why was this location selected out of all other potential locations? Did the residents think that the trash collectors would not see their heaping pile of garbage bags if they were in a different location - perhaps 20 or 30 feet away? I mean, it is literally the trash collectors' job to drive up and down the street and collect the garbage at the side of the road. There could be no possible way that they would miss this heap if it were anywhere else along the property line.
Considering the location of this particular hydrant, I am extremely pissed off that these residents think this is acceptable. This is the closest hydrant to my house, and if a fire occurred and the hydrant needed to be accessed, this could potentially cause a delay with getting water onto the fire. I wonder if the people who dumped this garbage considered the same for their cottage? Oh right, probably not, because they don't really "need" their cottage. They would likely be pleased they could claim it as a total loss and get a big fat check to build a new cottage in its place.
So, yeah: cidiots.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
#134 Shopping Carts (Proper Disposition - Part 2)
I should have added this to my rant in #074 of my blog, but this instance was so ridiculous I couldn't even fathom the possibility of this even happening, which is why I didn't include it previously.
Why? I just....... How could you even........ Are you fucking kidding me?
I couldn't just ignore your incomprehensible and inexcusable shopping cart placement and just drive away (forward) from the situation since there was clearly another car parked in front of me. You have purposely inconvenienced someone else (in this case, ME) by being such a lazy piece of shit that you couldn't move your shopping cart elsewhere when you were finished with it. What the fuck is wrong with you?! You were obviously not parked in a designated handicapped spot - to which I still would have been pissed off but slightly less so, considering the possibility of whatever handicap you could be facing.
Dick move, man. DICK. MOVE.
Why? I just....... How could you even........ Are you fucking kidding me?
I couldn't just ignore your incomprehensible and inexcusable shopping cart placement and just drive away (forward) from the situation since there was clearly another car parked in front of me. You have purposely inconvenienced someone else (in this case, ME) by being such a lazy piece of shit that you couldn't move your shopping cart elsewhere when you were finished with it. What the fuck is wrong with you?! You were obviously not parked in a designated handicapped spot - to which I still would have been pissed off but slightly less so, considering the possibility of whatever handicap you could be facing.
Dick move, man. DICK. MOVE.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
#133 Feet on Seats (Restaurants)
Dining in a restaurant is supposed to be a nice experience which should be superior to that of your own home or someone else's. When I see someone sitting with their feet on seat(s) at restaurants, it is beyond me why they think that is appropriate behavior.
I recently dined for lunch in a chain restaurant which prides themselves on their burgers and unique drinks / beverages. While I was there, I actually saw TWO instances of this behavior, but I was only able to capture one of them due to my proximity to the offenders.
Consider all of the places that you walked through during the day just to get to this restaurant. You must have walked outside at some point, where people spit, birds and squirrels piss and shit, and dirt, dust, and pollen are everywhere (not to mention salt in the winter!).
You also probably used the restroom at some point during the morning, and whether it was private or public, I can assure you that the floor was not clean enough to eat from. Assuming you went to work that morning, you have the same types of under-shoe filth from everyone else at your place of employment, multiplied by the number of co-workers. Gross.
Also, do you have pets? Well if you do, you can't tell me that you think THEY are the sparkling embodiment of sanitary standards. They walk through their own piss (and sometimes shit) while they are doing their business (whether outside or inside) and they will also track their disgustingness anywhere that your feet touch the floor. Really makes you want to have that near your face while you're eating, huh?
Do you want people putting their shoes all over your furniture at your house? If this is acceptable to you, you probably shouldn't be dining out in the first place.
Consider all of the places that you walked through during the day just to get to this restaurant. You must have walked outside at some point, where people spit, birds and squirrels piss and shit, and dirt, dust, and pollen are everywhere (not to mention salt in the winter!).
You also probably used the restroom at some point during the morning, and whether it was private or public, I can assure you that the floor was not clean enough to eat from. Assuming you went to work that morning, you have the same types of under-shoe filth from everyone else at your place of employment, multiplied by the number of co-workers. Gross.
Also, do you have pets? Well if you do, you can't tell me that you think THEY are the sparkling embodiment of sanitary standards. They walk through their own piss (and sometimes shit) while they are doing their business (whether outside or inside) and they will also track their disgustingness anywhere that your feet touch the floor. Really makes you want to have that near your face while you're eating, huh?
Do you want people putting their shoes all over your furniture at your house? If this is acceptable to you, you probably shouldn't be dining out in the first place.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
#128 Carry-On Luggage Placement
I have been doing a fair amount of travelling lately. Primarily I fly coach, but I have also had the pleasure of flying first class as well. Regardless of where I'm seated, I feel that it is only courteous to abide by the unspoken rules of air travel with respect to carry-on luggage: only place your item(s) above or very near to your seat.
Including users' opinions, this article points out that everyone is entitled to any overhead bin located within their respective class. While I am willing to agree that this might be the case, I do not think it is fair or courteous by any means.
My particular gripe regarding this issue describes people who are seated near the rear of the plane, who feel that inserting their luggage near the front of the plane will help them get off the plane more quickly. I'm not talking about people who board the plane at the very last second, and place their luggage in the only space left - which happens to be near the front of the plane. I'm talking about people who voluntarily board the plane in random order, and obviously and deliberately place their luggage much farther forward on the plane than where they are to be seated.
I do not feel this behavior leads to any increased efficiencies whatsoever. In fact, quite the contrary.
Many bags look the same these days. Foolishly, luggage manufacturers continue to produce pieces of luggage which are black and/or grey, with zippers in the same locations, with rollers and a telescoping handle. My issue is not so much over the design of current luggage, but rather their individuality, namely their color (or lack of color variety). It is now more complicated to select your bag from "your" overhead bin since now you have several options.
Some people are a bit vertically challenged, and have a hard enough time putting up and pulling down their own luggage, but now they have to contend with people who have a sense of entitlement regarding their luggage placement when it comes to the simplicity of the boarding and deplaning the aircraft.
Often times, these people who are placing their luggage forward in the cabin are concerned that they are not going to be able to fit their luggage near their seat because perhaps their luggage might be a bit oversized. Here's a tip: most flight attendants are more than pleased to gate-check your bag for you, especially on a full or very-full flight. If you're near the rear of the plane, the luggage handlers will likely retrieve your bag and have it at the gate for you by the time you actually reach the front of the plane!
Some people are worried that if they gate-check their bag, it might get lost. Quite the opposite is true, actually! There's a better chance for your bag to get lost if you fully check your bag (at the ticketing counter prior to the security checkpoint) as opposed to checking it in the gate. Never gate-checked a bag? Here's what happens: a luggage handler, from outside the aircraft, climbs up the stairs outside the skyway, retrieves your bag, and safely places it under the plane. When you land, the same thing happens in reverse order. It's not going anywhere! Seriously!
Everybody on the same plane has probably paid more money than they wished in order to take the flight that they're on, and since everyone is already on edge with security issues and personal space, people should just suck it up and be courteous to others, no matter what that might require. If that means bringing a smaller bag and less stuff, so be it.
Including users' opinions, this article points out that everyone is entitled to any overhead bin located within their respective class. While I am willing to agree that this might be the case, I do not think it is fair or courteous by any means.
I do not feel this behavior leads to any increased efficiencies whatsoever. In fact, quite the contrary.
Many bags look the same these days. Foolishly, luggage manufacturers continue to produce pieces of luggage which are black and/or grey, with zippers in the same locations, with rollers and a telescoping handle. My issue is not so much over the design of current luggage, but rather their individuality, namely their color (or lack of color variety). It is now more complicated to select your bag from "your" overhead bin since now you have several options.
Some people are a bit vertically challenged, and have a hard enough time putting up and pulling down their own luggage, but now they have to contend with people who have a sense of entitlement regarding their luggage placement when it comes to the simplicity of the boarding and deplaning the aircraft.
Often times, these people who are placing their luggage forward in the cabin are concerned that they are not going to be able to fit their luggage near their seat because perhaps their luggage might be a bit oversized. Here's a tip: most flight attendants are more than pleased to gate-check your bag for you, especially on a full or very-full flight. If you're near the rear of the plane, the luggage handlers will likely retrieve your bag and have it at the gate for you by the time you actually reach the front of the plane!
Some people are worried that if they gate-check their bag, it might get lost. Quite the opposite is true, actually! There's a better chance for your bag to get lost if you fully check your bag (at the ticketing counter prior to the security checkpoint) as opposed to checking it in the gate. Never gate-checked a bag? Here's what happens: a luggage handler, from outside the aircraft, climbs up the stairs outside the skyway, retrieves your bag, and safely places it under the plane. When you land, the same thing happens in reverse order. It's not going anywhere! Seriously!
Everybody on the same plane has probably paid more money than they wished in order to take the flight that they're on, and since everyone is already on edge with security issues and personal space, people should just suck it up and be courteous to others, no matter what that might require. If that means bringing a smaller bag and less stuff, so be it.
Monday, September 22, 2014
#127 Inconsideration (Time)
Time is incredibly valuable; you can never get it back. What we do with our personal time is sacred these days, so when someone is inconsiderate of my time I get really frustrated.
I recently borrowed a vehicle from someone to use for a specific purpose. They knew I was coming to pick it up at least a few hours in advance. They knew approximately what time I would be arriving and they knew that I only had a short amount of time to pick it up and leave since I was on my lunch hour from work. They also knew that I had to rely on someone else to take me there, therefore using up someone else’s valuable time.
When I arrived, they were completely ill-prepared. They didn't greet me at the door when I arrived. They took their time coming outside. They didn't have the keys ready. They didn't have essential items cleared out of it. They couldn't locate the key fob. They proceeded to engage in a lengthy conversation about some random crap that had nothing to do with the vehicle.
Something that could have literally taken less than 5 minutes took nearly 20 minutes.
Then another incident happened with the same person. This person needed something that I had in my possession, and called me at 10:15 pm to ask me to bring it with me to work the next day. This person was going out of town and needed what I had. Since I was nearly in bed by this point, I had to get dressed to go outside to the garage to fetch what they needed, then put it in my vehicle to take to work the next day.
Once I got to work the next day, they called and said they were coming to pick it up from my place of employment, but that they needed to shower first but they would be there in 20 minutes. With this person, 20 minutes = at least 35. I was leaving work in 30 minutes (again, they waited until the very last possible moment) and I was not about to be late because I have commitments that need to be kept. There was NO WAY this person was going to make it by the time I left. Instead, this person had to go out of their way to get what they needed rather than making a compromise with me, which ended up making them irritated and put off because of the situation.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, PEOPLE.
Simple preparation and adequate communication solves lots of headaches down the road. Just take a couple minutes to prepare for the situation ahead of you, discuss the details with those parties affected, and you will make those around you happy.
If you don't have time to prepare ahead of time, at least let the other person(s) know. They may be able to adjust their schedule to better accommodate the situation, and won't be so disappointed and frustrated when they arrive and have to deal with your lack of preparation and wasting their precious time.
When I arrived, they were completely ill-prepared. They didn't greet me at the door when I arrived. They took their time coming outside. They didn't have the keys ready. They didn't have essential items cleared out of it. They couldn't locate the key fob. They proceeded to engage in a lengthy conversation about some random crap that had nothing to do with the vehicle.
Something that could have literally taken less than 5 minutes took nearly 20 minutes.
Then another incident happened with the same person. This person needed something that I had in my possession, and called me at 10:15 pm to ask me to bring it with me to work the next day. This person was going out of town and needed what I had. Since I was nearly in bed by this point, I had to get dressed to go outside to the garage to fetch what they needed, then put it in my vehicle to take to work the next day.
Once I got to work the next day, they called and said they were coming to pick it up from my place of employment, but that they needed to shower first but they would be there in 20 minutes. With this person, 20 minutes = at least 35. I was leaving work in 30 minutes (again, they waited until the very last possible moment) and I was not about to be late because I have commitments that need to be kept. There was NO WAY this person was going to make it by the time I left. Instead, this person had to go out of their way to get what they needed rather than making a compromise with me, which ended up making them irritated and put off because of the situation.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, PEOPLE.
Simple preparation and adequate communication solves lots of headaches down the road. Just take a couple minutes to prepare for the situation ahead of you, discuss the details with those parties affected, and you will make those around you happy.
If you don't have time to prepare ahead of time, at least let the other person(s) know. They may be able to adjust their schedule to better accommodate the situation, and won't be so disappointed and frustrated when they arrive and have to deal with your lack of preparation and wasting their precious time.
Friday, June 6, 2014
#122 Touching (Toes)
It has been FAR too long since I have updated this blog. In the meantime, I have been keeping a list of things that bother me, and when I'm having a particularly shitty day or when I just feel like bitching or venting, I pull out the list and pick a topic. Today's topic features inappropriate touching from coworkers.
I have written about touching pregnant bellies and also touching me in general, but this post is about touching someone's feet. Specifically, when someone touched mine.
I was recently on a business trip to a different city in a different state in a completely different part of the country. Unfortunately, a few months ago I broke my leg when I slipped on some ice (which is also part of the reason I haven't been blogging) and I had a cast on one of my legs. It was a quick trip, but this trip was long enough to include 2 nights each with their own cocktail hour and group dinner.
I traveled on an airplane and in taxis with my broken leg, and in order for me to get around I had been using a Rollabout - a "knee scooter" - to keep my leg off the ground. This scooter is an alternative to crutches, and in my opinion it was a lifesaver.
The final night of the trip, a director-level executive (this is not his name, but I'll call him Barry) took everyone out for a nice meal at a nice restaurant after cocktails at the hotel. Once everyone was seated in the private room where dinner was being served, they opened the bar so everyone could come up and get a drink. I was waiting at the bar with a colleage, standing on one leg with my broken leg resting/balancing on my scooter. Before long I realized something was touching the bottom of my toes. At first I thought it might be a server's apron or a tablecloth or something of that nature, but it didn't stop so I looked behind me. Barry had left his place in line, walked over to me, tickled the bottom of my exposed toes (the small amount that was sticking out of my cast).... then he SNIFFED HIS FINGERS and loudly proclaimed, "Ohhh, they're kind of stinky!" in front of the entire room of about 60 of our colleagues.
I was so shocked and so uncomfortable, I just joked about the situation and said something to the effect of, "Well, it's not like I can wash my feet..." to which he replied, "No, but you could wipe your toes or something!". At this point all of his cronies were laughing at his "jokes" while I remained at the bar until my drink arrived, then quickly took my seat at a table which was 2 tables away from him. Before I left the bar, he asked if he could help get me a drink, but I assured him that I didn't need his assistance.
I did have some witnesses, but they didn't seem to think much of it. In fact, they seemed to think that Barry would have done this to me whether I was female OR male. Basically they were just defending him and made it out to be less than it was.
If Barry had touched my arm or my shoulder or even my back, I think that would have been significantly more acceptable than my toes... even though I still would not have appreciated it. Who touches toes?! People with foot fetishes. What is the draw to touch someone's toes while wearing a cast? I really shouldn't even have to justify WHY touching my toes was completely inappropriate. But apparently, I had to.
What if this dinner was being held in the summer, and his wife was in attendance wearing open-toed shoes... If someone touched HER toes, would he have blown a gasket or just laughed it off? Would he have said anything to the person who touched her toes? Most heterosexual men I know wouldn't DARE touch another guy's toes, regardless of whether they were sticking out of a cast or not... so I'm not buying that "he would have done it regardless" excuse whatsoever.
I confronted him about this issue, and in fact, I included the human resources department. Here's how it went down:
Barry: You know, I've gotta tell ya... this just caught me way off guard. I would have never thought in a million years we'd be having this conversation. First of all, I want to say I apologize. I didn't know that I was offending you. We were at this dinner, and you were kind of off to the side... and I was just touching your toe to get your attention to see if I could get you a drink at the bar, and apparently this thing didn't set well with you, so I apologize. I guess I just want to open up the conversation and just... what happened? What did I do that was so offensive? I really want to know because I don't ever want to do that again.
Me: I just -- I felt really, really uncomfortable. If it was like my shoulder or my arm or something, I could totally understand that. I just feel like it's a part of my body that I wouldn't expect anybody to go anywhere near. After you did that, you sniffed your fingers and said, "Ohhh, they're kind of stinky!" and I was really embarrassed, and I --
Barry: I did not do that...
Me: Yes, you did.
Barry: No, I did not.
Me: Yes, you did!
Barry: No.....
HR: I can't agree or negate that.
Me: Well I certainly wouldn't make that up, but regardless, it's done and over, but I just felt really, really uncomfortable and I just -- I didn't know what to do so I just kind of shrugged it off and sort of joked about it with you because it was a light mood and everybody was having a good time. The more I thought about it, the more it just really didn't set well with me. Then, I spoke to my husband about it and he just did not appreciate the fact that that happened... I don't know. It just put me in a really, really uncomfortable position, and I didn't want to make it out to be more serious than it was, but still at the same time I didn't know how else to handle it and so that's why I spoke to HR about it.
Barry: Well that's fine; I understand that you went to HR. That's the right thing to do. Again, I apologize, I didn't know it was going to be that offensive. I meant nothing by it other than to just get your attention to see if you wanted for me to get you a drink at the bar. I apologize. I just didn't realize it was going to be that offensive. It'll never happen again, believe me.
Me: Okay. I realize my toes were exposed; it was warm; I didn't have my sock on and whatever. I just didn't expect it at that time, and I don't think I would have expected it at any time from anybody that I work with.
Barry: I certainly understand. It won't happen again, believe me.
Me: Thank you.
I can speculate all I want, but the fact of the matter is that it was totally inappropriate and unjustified. I sincerely hope that I never have to deal with pervy guys like this ever again.
I have written about touching pregnant bellies and also touching me in general, but this post is about touching someone's feet. Specifically, when someone touched mine.
I was recently on a business trip to a different city in a different state in a completely different part of the country. Unfortunately, a few months ago I broke my leg when I slipped on some ice (which is also part of the reason I haven't been blogging) and I had a cast on one of my legs. It was a quick trip, but this trip was long enough to include 2 nights each with their own cocktail hour and group dinner.
I traveled on an airplane and in taxis with my broken leg, and in order for me to get around I had been using a Rollabout - a "knee scooter" - to keep my leg off the ground. This scooter is an alternative to crutches, and in my opinion it was a lifesaver.
The final night of the trip, a director-level executive (this is not his name, but I'll call him Barry) took everyone out for a nice meal at a nice restaurant after cocktails at the hotel. Once everyone was seated in the private room where dinner was being served, they opened the bar so everyone could come up and get a drink. I was waiting at the bar with a colleage, standing on one leg with my broken leg resting/balancing on my scooter. Before long I realized something was touching the bottom of my toes. At first I thought it might be a server's apron or a tablecloth or something of that nature, but it didn't stop so I looked behind me. Barry had left his place in line, walked over to me, tickled the bottom of my exposed toes (the small amount that was sticking out of my cast).... then he SNIFFED HIS FINGERS and loudly proclaimed, "Ohhh, they're kind of stinky!" in front of the entire room of about 60 of our colleagues.
I was so shocked and so uncomfortable, I just joked about the situation and said something to the effect of, "Well, it's not like I can wash my feet..." to which he replied, "No, but you could wipe your toes or something!". At this point all of his cronies were laughing at his "jokes" while I remained at the bar until my drink arrived, then quickly took my seat at a table which was 2 tables away from him. Before I left the bar, he asked if he could help get me a drink, but I assured him that I didn't need his assistance.
I did have some witnesses, but they didn't seem to think much of it. In fact, they seemed to think that Barry would have done this to me whether I was female OR male. Basically they were just defending him and made it out to be less than it was.
If Barry had touched my arm or my shoulder or even my back, I think that would have been significantly more acceptable than my toes... even though I still would not have appreciated it. Who touches toes?! People with foot fetishes. What is the draw to touch someone's toes while wearing a cast? I really shouldn't even have to justify WHY touching my toes was completely inappropriate. But apparently, I had to.
What if this dinner was being held in the summer, and his wife was in attendance wearing open-toed shoes... If someone touched HER toes, would he have blown a gasket or just laughed it off? Would he have said anything to the person who touched her toes? Most heterosexual men I know wouldn't DARE touch another guy's toes, regardless of whether they were sticking out of a cast or not... so I'm not buying that "he would have done it regardless" excuse whatsoever.
I confronted him about this issue, and in fact, I included the human resources department. Here's how it went down:
Barry: You know, I've gotta tell ya... this just caught me way off guard. I would have never thought in a million years we'd be having this conversation. First of all, I want to say I apologize. I didn't know that I was offending you. We were at this dinner, and you were kind of off to the side... and I was just touching your toe to get your attention to see if I could get you a drink at the bar, and apparently this thing didn't set well with you, so I apologize. I guess I just want to open up the conversation and just... what happened? What did I do that was so offensive? I really want to know because I don't ever want to do that again.
Me: I just -- I felt really, really uncomfortable. If it was like my shoulder or my arm or something, I could totally understand that. I just feel like it's a part of my body that I wouldn't expect anybody to go anywhere near. After you did that, you sniffed your fingers and said, "Ohhh, they're kind of stinky!" and I was really embarrassed, and I --
Barry: I did not do that...
Me: Yes, you did.
Barry: No, I did not.
Me: Yes, you did!
Barry: No.....
HR: I can't agree or negate that.
Me: Well I certainly wouldn't make that up, but regardless, it's done and over, but I just felt really, really uncomfortable and I just -- I didn't know what to do so I just kind of shrugged it off and sort of joked about it with you because it was a light mood and everybody was having a good time. The more I thought about it, the more it just really didn't set well with me. Then, I spoke to my husband about it and he just did not appreciate the fact that that happened... I don't know. It just put me in a really, really uncomfortable position, and I didn't want to make it out to be more serious than it was, but still at the same time I didn't know how else to handle it and so that's why I spoke to HR about it.
Barry: Well that's fine; I understand that you went to HR. That's the right thing to do. Again, I apologize, I didn't know it was going to be that offensive. I meant nothing by it other than to just get your attention to see if you wanted for me to get you a drink at the bar. I apologize. I just didn't realize it was going to be that offensive. It'll never happen again, believe me.
Me: Okay. I realize my toes were exposed; it was warm; I didn't have my sock on and whatever. I just didn't expect it at that time, and I don't think I would have expected it at any time from anybody that I work with.
Barry: I certainly understand. It won't happen again, believe me.
Me: Thank you.
I can speculate all I want, but the fact of the matter is that it was totally inappropriate and unjustified. I sincerely hope that I never have to deal with pervy guys like this ever again.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
#121 Interrupting (Mid-Sentence)
If someone is speaking and you miss the first couple of words that they said, generally you can figure out the gist of what they're trying to say if you just keep listening. Once the speaker has finished their thought, if you still haven't grasped the point they’re trying to make, you can politely ask that they repeat what they said by telling them what you heard so they can fill in the rest.
But if someone begins a thought and midway through that thought (or word, even) you cut them off to blurt out "Huh??" because you didn't catch the first couple of words, that is completely rude and unnecessary.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
#116 Punctuality (Appearance)
I work with someone who literally lives two streets away from the facility (less than a half mile) and this person is constantly arriving to work 15 minutes late and showing up with wet hair. It's definitely not some sort of "wet-look" product they are using in their hair either, because it's dry in a matter of about an hour.
If you're running late for work for any reason, you will likely take a quicker shower than usual because you know you're running behind. That is of, course, that you actually care about your job... That being said, perhaps you need to wake up just a smidge earlier in order to make it to work on time???? Or, if you really can't spare the 5 minutes it takes to blow-dry your hair, perhaps you should consider showering at night instead. Seriously, if it takes you less than 2 minutes to drive to work, maybe you shouldn't set your alarm for the time you actually have to BE at work.
If you're running late for work for any reason, you will likely take a quicker shower than usual because you know you're running behind. That is of, course, that you actually care about your job... That being said, perhaps you need to wake up just a smidge earlier in order to make it to work on time???? Or, if you really can't spare the 5 minutes it takes to blow-dry your hair, perhaps you should consider showering at night instead. Seriously, if it takes you less than 2 minutes to drive to work, maybe you shouldn't set your alarm for the time you actually have to BE at work.
Friday, April 12, 2013
#113 Mocking (Infants)
Mocking. We've all probably done it at some time or another throughout our lives, most likely while we were younger and didn't know any better. As an adult, mocking is a childish behavior. But what do you call it when an adult mocks a child (an infant, even)? I call it: wrong.
I have an infant, and most infants cry and whine and can be generally cranky a lot, but that's what they do... because they're BABIES. Why anyone would take that opportunity to mock an infant is beyond me, but several people close to me think it is appropriate behavior.
Imagine you're caring for an infant, and the infant is cranky and whines and makes a sound like, "meeeeeeyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"... would you then make that same sound back to them? If your answer is YES, I probably dislike you. Mocking an infant is not only childish, but incredibly rude... especially if it is not your own child, and even more so if it is your family member!
I have an infant, and most infants cry and whine and can be generally cranky a lot, but that's what they do... because they're BABIES. Why anyone would take that opportunity to mock an infant is beyond me, but several people close to me think it is appropriate behavior.
Imagine you're caring for an infant, and the infant is cranky and whines and makes a sound like, "meeeeeeyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"... would you then make that same sound back to them? If your answer is YES, I probably dislike you. Mocking an infant is not only childish, but incredibly rude... especially if it is not your own child, and even more so if it is your family member!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
#111 Gift Receipts
Another holiday season has come and (thankfully) gone, and people everywhere are returning gifts they received that they didn't like. I, however, had a more difficult time returning gifts this year because one side of my family decided not to include a gift receipt with their gifts given to me, which coincidentally happens every single year.
I don't get it. Why not include a gift receipt?! If I give someone a gift, I always include a gift receipt just in case anything is even slightly off with what I decided that person probably likes... why? Because I'm not right all of the time, and I would rather give them the receipt up front so they can deal with having to exchange or return it without having to ask me for the receipt later. That way, I can go about thinking that I picked out a good gift and I would be none the wiser that they didn't like it or it was the wrong thing. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't tell me, so I can just assume that they liked it and go about my merry way.
People's feelings are at stake here. Do I risk upsetting my mother-in-law by asking her for the receipt for a shirt that she bought me that is too small (bless her heart for thinking I wear that size)? No. I just go to the store she bought it from and buy something for my son instead. The problem is that I probably won't get back the money that she paid for it because I don't have the receipt. She likely purchased it at a higher price than what the price is after the holiday, so technically we're both losing and the store gets to keep the extra money. Besides, even if I asked her for the receipt later, the chances of her finding it are slim-to-none anyways.
Then there's the case of duplicate gifts. What if the gift someone gave you was so awesome that someone else decided they were going to give you the same gift? You probably don't need 2 of them, so you'd likely return one. However, if the only place to return it was to a store that you don't like to shop, you're stuck with a merchandise credit for that store and you end up having to spend money there when you'd rather have money to spend elsewhere for something you need rather than some frivolous gift you are forced to purchase for yourself or someone else.
I seriously would rather receive nothing at all than something I didn't want that I would have to go return to a store. I hate shopping. Perhaps I sound ungrateful that I am receiving gifts at all, but I would rather not do a gift exchange if that were an option. I'm SO OVER IT. If it weren't for people's feelings, I would simply opt out of these types of family functions altogether because I just don't like doing it anymore. It's more of a pain in the ass now than it has ever been before.
What it comes down to is this: get to know the person you're purchasing a gift for, so you know what kinds of things they like and especially what they don't like. This will save everyone a lot of hassle in the long run. But if you're not going to do that, at least include a gift receipt.
I don't get it. Why not include a gift receipt?! If I give someone a gift, I always include a gift receipt just in case anything is even slightly off with what I decided that person probably likes... why? Because I'm not right all of the time, and I would rather give them the receipt up front so they can deal with having to exchange or return it without having to ask me for the receipt later. That way, I can go about thinking that I picked out a good gift and I would be none the wiser that they didn't like it or it was the wrong thing. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't tell me, so I can just assume that they liked it and go about my merry way.
Then there's the case of duplicate gifts. What if the gift someone gave you was so awesome that someone else decided they were going to give you the same gift? You probably don't need 2 of them, so you'd likely return one. However, if the only place to return it was to a store that you don't like to shop, you're stuck with a merchandise credit for that store and you end up having to spend money there when you'd rather have money to spend elsewhere for something you need rather than some frivolous gift you are forced to purchase for yourself or someone else.
I seriously would rather receive nothing at all than something I didn't want that I would have to go return to a store. I hate shopping. Perhaps I sound ungrateful that I am receiving gifts at all, but I would rather not do a gift exchange if that were an option. I'm SO OVER IT. If it weren't for people's feelings, I would simply opt out of these types of family functions altogether because I just don't like doing it anymore. It's more of a pain in the ass now than it has ever been before.
What it comes down to is this: get to know the person you're purchasing a gift for, so you know what kinds of things they like and especially what they don't like. This will save everyone a lot of hassle in the long run. But if you're not going to do that, at least include a gift receipt.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
#104 Early Enquiries
Mornings are generally rough for everyone, unless you're one of those freaks who are peppy and spirited all the time (including first thing in the morning)... in which case: you're annoying. So, if we work together and you happen to arrive before me, please wait at least 10 minutes before asking me any questions (or pretty much talking to me in general).
I live about an hour away from where I work. So to be at work by 7am, I have to be up around 5am to leave my house by 6am to make it to work on time. Getting up at 5am doesn't seem to get any easier, even if I have been doing it for over 4 years now. Even after a 1-hour drive into work, I'm still not all that awake – not awake enough to want to talk to anyone about something I can't focus on until I've gotten situated at my desk for a few minutes. Most people drink coffee, but I don't, and I may or may not seek an alternative caffeine source in the morning to get me going, depending on how I'm feeling. Either way, what's the rush?
Regardless of how I'm feeling in the morning, just give me some space. I don't jump all over someone when they first arrive at their desk just because I have something to ask them – it's not polite. I expect them to extend me the same courtesy when I arrive, and I really don't think that's asking too much. Whatever you have to ask me can, and will, wait for me to get situated for the day. Things that I am dealing with on a daily basis are (fortunately) NOT life-or-death situations. So chill the fuck out already.
I live about an hour away from where I work. So to be at work by 7am, I have to be up around 5am to leave my house by 6am to make it to work on time. Getting up at 5am doesn't seem to get any easier, even if I have been doing it for over 4 years now. Even after a 1-hour drive into work, I'm still not all that awake – not awake enough to want to talk to anyone about something I can't focus on until I've gotten situated at my desk for a few minutes. Most people drink coffee, but I don't, and I may or may not seek an alternative caffeine source in the morning to get me going, depending on how I'm feeling. Either way, what's the rush?
Regardless of how I'm feeling in the morning, just give me some space. I don't jump all over someone when they first arrive at their desk just because I have something to ask them – it's not polite. I expect them to extend me the same courtesy when I arrive, and I really don't think that's asking too much. Whatever you have to ask me can, and will, wait for me to get situated for the day. Things that I am dealing with on a daily basis are (fortunately) NOT life-or-death situations. So chill the fuck out already.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
#103 Key Chains
However, if you (as an adult) have more key chains than keys, that's when I start to get annoyed.
First of all: what are you, 9 years old? Do you need to have a myriad of key chains so that you won't lose your house key to let yourself in after elementary school lets out for the day? Are you proud of your overly-abundant pile of metal and glitter and fuzz that you compare with your friends to show off how cool you are based on the number of obnoxious items on your key ring?
Second: if the sound of your key chains precedes you while walking through any area where people are located, you definitely have too many key chains. I can actually tell who is walking through my office area at work just by the sound of their key chains jangling away as they walk behind/past me. For fuck's sake, put that shit in your pocket or your purse! I don't want to hear that crap! If you MUST carry several keys and several key chains, at least silence them while you’re walking.
Third: what is the purpose of having so many key chains? According to Wikipedia, there are a multitude of uses and purposes for a single key chain. Mainly though, they are used for identification, advertising, souvenir, popular characters and nostalgia-related items. Do I think it's necessary to have a key ring with a key chain of the Eiffel Tower AND Stewie from Family Guy AND a tiny stuffed teddy bear AND a bottle opener AND a skateboard? No. Choose one and call it good. If you really need all of those key chains because you lose your keys often, you have bigger problems than all of the pressure and stress of selecting only one key chain for your key ring.
Monday, June 11, 2012
#099 Road Killings (Turtles)
In the late spring and early summer months, the area in which I live sees a lot of painted turtles crossing the roads. Since there are plenty of marshy areas and slow-moving bodies of water nearby, the turtles seem to thrive in such an environment. However, with an overabundance of people not paying attention (and the few drivers who are such sick bastards that they actually attempt to run them over), many turtles don't get to make it across the road and are killed by vehicles every day.
I don't get it. I mean, it's not like the turtle just ran out into the road and you couldn't avoid running it over. It's not like it just popped up at the last second and you're like "Oh, SHIT!" and you suddenly have to try to swerve out of the way...... NO. Turtles move slowly. VERY slowly. There is absolutely NO REASON that anyone should run over a turtle on any roadway. Period.
Say you're on a dirt road and you spot a turtle: drive around it.
Say you're on a two-lane rural road or highway: drive around it.
Say you're on any type of road with or without traffic: drive around it, or slow down so that you CAN drive around it if traffic does not permit you to drive around it at that time. And if you can't slow down enough to do this, you're probably driving too fast (so slow the fuck down already).
See? How hard was that?!
I don't claim to be a turtle-rights advocate or anything, but don't run over turtles! They didn't do anything to you. They're probably just trying to procreate..... would you want someone trying to kill you every time you tried to have sex? I didn't think so.
I don't get it. I mean, it's not like the turtle just ran out into the road and you couldn't avoid running it over. It's not like it just popped up at the last second and you're like "Oh, SHIT!" and you suddenly have to try to swerve out of the way...... NO. Turtles move slowly. VERY slowly. There is absolutely NO REASON that anyone should run over a turtle on any roadway. Period.
Say you're on a dirt road and you spot a turtle: drive around it.
Say you're on a two-lane rural road or highway: drive around it.
Say you're on any type of road with or without traffic: drive around it, or slow down so that you CAN drive around it if traffic does not permit you to drive around it at that time. And if you can't slow down enough to do this, you're probably driving too fast (so slow the fuck down already).
See? How hard was that?!
I don't claim to be a turtle-rights advocate or anything, but don't run over turtles! They didn't do anything to you. They're probably just trying to procreate..... would you want someone trying to kill you every time you tried to have sex? I didn't think so.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
#097 Inappropriate Professional Networking
Now, in the present time, it seems to have shifted the other way (at least for engineering). Companies have more money because the economy is doing better, and I'm seeing a lot more postings for job opportunities than I've seen in a long time. However, I do NOT feel it is appropriate for a headhunter / recruiter to call your current place of employment to ask if you're interested in any new job opportunities.
I was getting ready to leave work the other day, and the phone at my desk rang literally as I was packing up my things to leave. I already had my laptop put away, and when I looked at the call display (which does not contain a true "caller ID", just whether it is an internal or external call), it showed that the call had been directed through the main line instead of a direct call to my phone number (different last 4 digits). So that means whoever was calling me did NOT have the direct line to my desk, but instead had to search for my number through the digital phone directory... which also indicates that I probably didn't want to talk to that person. I didn't answer the phone.
When I came in the next morning, I had a voicemail. Upon retrieving my voicemail, I discovered that it was an engineering recruiter who stated she "saw my profile on (a professional networking site) and wanted to speak to me about available job opportunities". That's great! I love hearing what other job opportunities are out there, either for myself or other friends and/or colleagues in the industry, but NOT at my current place of employment! Even when I receive calls on my mobile phone during the day, I usually let it go to voicemail and then call back on my lunch or, more typically, after work.
I checked the professional networking site (for short, I will refer to this site as LI), and sure enough: she had viewed my profile. However, on my LI profile, there is a link to contact me through the site and also my personal mobile number, but NOWHERE on there is a phone number to my place of business. This woman went completely out of her way to look up the phone number to my business, dial that number, then find my name through the phone directory to call me. I will give her this: she had some balls doing that, but this was completely inappropriate.
She's also not the first headhunter / recruiter to call me at work. I've had a couple people in the past year or so try to contact me, and then when I declined further interaction with that person they actually called the main line again and looked up the guy sitting next to me that has a similar role in the company! Ballsy, but inappropriate.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
#096 Disregarding Privacy (Childbirth)
A good friend of mine recently delivered a baby. All of her friends (including me) were really excited for her and giving her lots of words of encouragement on her page of the social networking site to which she belongs.
She alerted everyone (via her page) that she was going into the hospital overnight and they would begin the process of having the baby the next day. Then she updated everyone that labor had begun. Several hours went by and there were no updates from her, and her friends started to get really anxious and nosy. One person posted (after several other comments), "She hasn't answered yet... is that a sign?", and another person posted later, "Anything yet????". Finally, someone posted, "The suspense is killing me." YES, the suspense is killing EVERYONE! The fact that the new mother didn't find out the gender of the baby (during her pregnancy) added to the suspense, but did all of these people need to constantly hound her to find out what's going on? The answer to that question is NO.
People, where are your manners? Give the woman some privacy! When she's ready to tell the world, she will do so. And she did (imagine that!). She posted a picture with the full name, length and weight of the baby once she was ready to snap a photo with her smartphone and update her social networking page. I can only imagine that she was completely exhausted after being in labor for what seemed to be about 6 or 7 hours, and once the baby was out I'm sure all she wanted to do was hold the baby and cuddle and get some private family time with her husband and her new baby. I can't even fathom the amount of text messages she probably received, in addition to the dozens of comments left on her page.
Encouraging comments (before) and exclamations of congratulations (after) are completely acceptable. Constantly trying to find out what's going on and insisting on finding out the status of the birth is unacceptable. NO ONE is entitled to this information until the family has decided that they are.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
#095 Interrupting (Prior Engagements)
Time away from family or social obligations is pretty rare for me these days; I quite enjoy having time to myself on occasion. So when I'm in the middle of doing something on my To-Do List and the people closest to me know that I'm busy doing something, I get extremely irritated when someone calls me "just to talk". It is even more annoying when I remind that person that I'm busy and they continue with the conversation regardless of my subtle indication of having something more important to do at the moment.
Don't get me wrong, occasionally I get the urge to call someone "just to talk", but I always ask them ahead of time whether or not it is convenient to proceed with leisurely conversation. If at any point someone indicates that the conversation must end, I will immediately wrap up the call regardless of whether or not my point was made – this conversation can always be completed at a later time. When others call me "just to talk" I expect them to treat me the same way, but unfortunately this is NEVER the case with one particular individual in my life.
Very often I am in the middle of doing something and this person will call, and I will remind them that I'm busy and I need to finish what I'm doing and that I will call them back later. They say they understand but that they "just wanted to tell me" whatever it was they called me about, but they continue to talk about their topic that has little value to me while I'm right in the middle of doing something.
It's not that I don't care what this person has to say: quite the contrary. What they have to tell me is probably relatively important, but if it can wait an hour or two or six, then it should. I end up having to be stern with this person, and they always end up being offended that I pushed them away from the call... but what else can I do? I politely tell this person that I'm busy, yet they continue to talk. If being rude or stern with this person is the only way to get my point across, then that's what I have to do.
Generally I won't even answer the phone if I'm in the middle of something, but this person will call a few times within a few minutes... that would indicate to me that the purpose for the call is important. So when I call this person back to find out why such frequent calls were placed in such a short amount of time, only to find out that they "just wanted to talk", I get PISSED OFF.
Don't get me wrong, occasionally I get the urge to call someone "just to talk", but I always ask them ahead of time whether or not it is convenient to proceed with leisurely conversation. If at any point someone indicates that the conversation must end, I will immediately wrap up the call regardless of whether or not my point was made – this conversation can always be completed at a later time. When others call me "just to talk" I expect them to treat me the same way, but unfortunately this is NEVER the case with one particular individual in my life.
Very often I am in the middle of doing something and this person will call, and I will remind them that I'm busy and I need to finish what I'm doing and that I will call them back later. They say they understand but that they "just wanted to tell me" whatever it was they called me about, but they continue to talk about their topic that has little value to me while I'm right in the middle of doing something.
It's not that I don't care what this person has to say: quite the contrary. What they have to tell me is probably relatively important, but if it can wait an hour or two or six, then it should. I end up having to be stern with this person, and they always end up being offended that I pushed them away from the call... but what else can I do? I politely tell this person that I'm busy, yet they continue to talk. If being rude or stern with this person is the only way to get my point across, then that's what I have to do.
Generally I won't even answer the phone if I'm in the middle of something, but this person will call a few times within a few minutes... that would indicate to me that the purpose for the call is important. So when I call this person back to find out why such frequent calls were placed in such a short amount of time, only to find out that they "just wanted to talk", I get PISSED OFF.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
#093 Touching (Pregnant Bellies)
To further rant about the topic of touching, I don't understand how people are so drawn to touch a stranger's pregnant belly. I have to believe that everyone, at some point in their life, has been related to or very close friends with someone who has been pregnant, and that woman has allowed them to come in contact with her pregnant belly. The fact that a complete stranger can see a pregnant woman walking through the mall or in a grocery store and will approach that woman and touch her belly, with OR without asking, is beyond my comprehension. I just don't see how it's AT ALL appropriate!
If you see a pregnant woman, and you're tempted to touch her belly, do yourself a favor and compliment her on her outfit or her hairstyle instead, or even tell her that she looks great (even if she doesn't). She will be very thankful that yet another stranger didn't attempt to touch her belly.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
#091 Airline Seating (Getting In and Out)
I understand it's somewhat difficult and often tricky to get out of the window or middle seat when the person on the aisle is somewhat large... but, when possible, DO NOT grab on to the back of the seat in front of you. The person sitting in that seat, with their seatback completely upright, is trying to be mindful of others and not encroach on anyone else's space... and you should do the same. When you grab onto that person's seat, you disturb them in the process. It only takes one instance of this to happen to make a person go completely apeshit on your ass.
Perhaps you could ask the person sitting on the end to politely get up so that you can more easily access the aisle? I would think most people would be inclined to oblige (unless they’re sleeping, I suppose).
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