#140 Acting Before Thinking

"Think before you act."

I honestly can't think of a more fundamental principle of adulthood, especially when it comes to maintaining relationships.

While I was finishing up in the shower the other night, my spouse was getting ready for bed. Over the shower, I stated, "I'd like to change the sheets tonight, can you get it started? I can help when I'm out."

My spouse replied, "I guess."

I finished getting out of the shower and drying off when I hear my spouse flop onto the bed after the sheet-changing had been completed without my assistance. Below is the actual conversation that took place.

spouse: AHHHHHHHHHHHH, stinky sheets.
me: Stinky sheets?
spouse: Yeah, it smells like you washed them with the vacuum cleaner.
me: Did you smell them before you took the dirty ones off the bed?
spouse: yeah, but what was I supposed to do?
me: Maybe NOT change the sheets?!

My spouse then proceeded to strip the bed so that now both sets - the "dirty" sheets and pillow cases as well as the "stinky" sheets and pillow cases - were in the dirty clothes bin. After that, my spouse removed their pajamas and put them into the dirty clothes bin as well.

me: Was it that bad that your pajamas stunk after just laying on the stinky sheets for like five seconds?
spouse: They stunk. (puts everything in the washer) Do we have any other sheets or pillow cases?
me: No.

I am a reasonable and logical person. If I came out of the shower and the sheets were not changed, I would ask why. I would also agree that they should not be changed if the only other set of sheets we had stunk so horrendously that the smell would permeate our clothes and bodies overnight (or within minutes?!). Why on earth would my spouse continue changing the sheets if the new ones stunk from (probably) being left in the washer too long???

#139 Easter Weekend

I'm not one to post about religious things because people get their panties in a bunch over the stupidest shit, but this topic is somewhat religious-related but is not bashing any religion. I'm not here to discuss religion. I'm here to discuss what bothers me, and it relates to a religious holiday. Relax.

If you do a quick Google search on what is Easter, you will find out that Easter is defined as "the most important and oldest festival of the Christian Church, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ and held (in the Western Church) between March 21 and April 25, on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the northern spring equinox."

If you're like me, you only care about Easter weekend because it means having Good Friday off work and Reese's Eggs are for sale in retail stores.

I'm not minimizing the importance of this holiday for some people, but for me it's not. It has also become an "American" holiday since it has become largely observed by corporations and they provide a day off for their employees.

What bothers me about it is the fact that it moves every year, yet some people still refer to it as if everyone knows when it occurs.

According to the definition above, Easter can occur anywhere between March 21 and April 25, depending on the lunar calendar. I would venture to guess that the majority of people don't follow the lunar calendar, and currently require the internet (or some other published source) to let them know when Easter is going to occur that year (or subsequent years). That means that Easter could potentially occur during any of FIVE WEEKS during a calendar year!

Here's a scenario:

Friend: Let's take a trip to Florida.
Me: Sure, when do you want to go?
Friend: Let's go over Labor Day weekend.
Me: I'm available then; let's do it.

You see, everyone here knows that, in America, Labor Day occurs on the first Monday of September. Labor Day weekend would be the Saturday and Sunday leading up to Labor Day, and generally people get that Monday off, too. My point is that EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT when you say "Labor Day weekend."

Here's the same scenario again, except using Easter as an example instead:

Friend: Let's take a trip to Florida.
Me: Sure, when do you want to go?
Friend: Let's go over Easter weekend.
Me: WHEN THE FUCK IS THAT???!?!??!?!?!?!
Friend: Well it's the first Sunday after the first full moon following the northern spring equinox, duh.

If you're one of these people who just assumes everyone knows when Easter weekend occurs, cut it out. Do everyone around you a favor and specify when you're planning something that references "Easter weekend." If you assume that I know when Easter occurs, expect to have the following conversation.

Someone: Please come to my house on Easter Sunday.
Me: GIMME A FUCKING DATE, IDIOT.

#138 Separately Teleconferencing

I work in an office with approximately 90-100 people. This building is kind of split up into different smaller sections, and at a maximum there are 21 people sitting in the same area as me.

Often, some of these people will be participating in the same teleconference. That is, several people will be on the same phone call at the same time. This becomes very frustrating to be nearby once the call gets underway because they're trying to talk over one another and end up being much louder than they need to be. In addition, sometimes one or more of them put it on speaker-phone at their desks, and there's a lag between when they talk and when it comes through the phone line. This creates an echo effect, and essentially listeners in the office are subjected to hearing one person speak twice.

Sometimes one or more of these people in the office will actually put their headset on mute, stand up, and speak to one another over the cubicles while at their respective desks. WHY???!?!?!??!?

Despite being aggravated by listening to participants speaking too loudly in the office space, and having to hear people's echo, my main gripe is this burning question: why don't they just book a conference room and get on the call together? There are several conference rooms available at any one given time. In fact, there is one less than 40 feet away from anyone in this area of the office! Not only would this solve the loud-talking and echo issues, but they could even talk amongst themselves without participating in the call if they chose to do so (side discussions), eliminating the obvious issue of satisfying one's own needs at the expense of others.

#137 Lost Pets

I live in a pretty small community of about 800 full-time residents. The boundaries of our community are waterways, and there is no way onto our island except by boat or car ferry. Our island utilizes the resources of a private social network site where everyone can post things that have meaning to the community. It's also a place where local business can post specials, and community events can be publicized. Another topic, among several, is "Lost and Found."

Recently (on August 31st, 2015) a family lost their 3-year-old male brindle cattle dog mix. This is not the first time the dog has gotten out of their fenced-in yard, and I know this because they have posted about it on our community social network site previously. Usually the dog was recovered within a day or so. This time, the dog is still missing over two weeks later. They have even enlisted the help of a service to locate their pet, now offering a $1,000 reward for recovery. They have posted laminated flyers all over our island, as well as in neighboring communities, and have also posted on other social networking sites to get the word out.

On one hand, I feel bad for this family for losing their pet. On the other hand, I don't. Not because I'm a horrible person (which I'm not) and not because I don’t care about animals (which I do), but if this dog has gotten out before, *something else* could have been done to make sure the dog didn't get out again. I couldn't say whether a higher fence, or keeping the dog on a lead, or any number of other things would have been an appropriate solution to keeping their dog from getting out of their yard, but it could have been something. Anything. But that didn't happen.

The postings that this family is making our networking site are getting to be a bit ridiculous. Here is an excerpt from an actual post made by one of the family members:

"[Dog's name] has been missing for 2 weeks now. Someone has taken him and we need him back. If you are an island resident, please contact any people (out-of-towners) that you know that were on the island the week of August 31st. He is missed terribly by his family, and we just want him home. Someone had to have taken him to the mainland, or STILL has him on the island."

I'm sure this family member is just trying to keep hope alive, but to accuse someone of taking him and keeping him (or even dropping him somewhere) seems a bit absurd and unreasonable. They're basically insinuating that local residents are doing something totally underhanded here, and that's pretty insulting.

There are several theories as to what happened, but here are my top theories why I think this dog is not coming home:

1. He went for a swim and got caught by the current and drowned.
2. He got eaten by one of several coyotes spotted on the island.
3. He got hit by a car and is lying in a ditch / weeds somewhere.

The same family member continues to post to our social networking site saying, "Someone on the island knows something but is choosing not to speak up. If that person is you... SHAME ON YOU!!!!" After publishing this comment, the author removed it about 20 minutes later once someone else commented something along the lines of, "If someone knew something, they would have said something by now."

Personally I think it is a waste of time, money, and effort looking for a dog in this situation. Especially now, over two weeks after the fact? That dog is long gone. Give it up; let it go. Move on. Besides, shaming or attempting to shame someone on a social networking site is not an appropriate way to get a response.

#136 Sink Strainer Replacement

Like many households, my kitchen features a double sink. On one side there is a garbage disposal, and on the other side there is a drain with a basket-style strainer. For the most part, the strainer stays in the drain-only side, and only gets removed when there is debris in the strainer or if it deserves a run through the dishwasher. At least, this is how I handle the strainer. The other adult that I live with apparently thinks otherwise.

It is obvious when they decide to do the "cleaning" because I will find the sink in this state:

Let's say I want to pre-soak something (a heavy pot, perhaps) in the drain side because that side happens to be larger and more accommodating than the disposal side. Rather than just placing it in the sink, I have to first go make sure that there are no obstructions (like the fucking strainer) before I set it down. If the strainer is NOT in the drain, then I have to return the heavy pot to (probably) the stove, then go back and put the strainer in the drain, and then start all over again. Why can't I just assume the strainer is in place rather than having to check for it each time?!

I'm left wondering why this is necessary. Why not put it back in the drain? Why leave it upside down outside the drain? Did they want it to dry thoroughly? - can't that happen while it is sitting in the drain while the sink is not in use?? I seriously can not think of one single instance why it would be beneficial to leave it out of the drain.

#135 Fire Hydrant Obstruction

I am a full-time resident of a community of approximately 700 people. However, every summer, the population of my community jumps to about ten times that. Many people have summer homes or cottages that they visit on the weekends, and from Memorial Day through Labor Day my community is a busy, bustling place. We locals call these people "cidiots." City + idiot = cidiot. Here's one of the many reasons:

The Licensing and Regulatory Affairs in the state in which I live have posted press releases in recent years reminding residents to keep a 3-foot minimum radius of clearance from fire hydrants so that first responders can quickly access this essential equipment. These press releases are generally released during the winter months when snow removal is a total pain in the ass essential, but it really applies all year round.

I'm struggling to understand the logic behind placing the trash bags immediately surrounding the fire hydrant. This particular residence has at least 60 feet of street frontage, not including the driveway. Why was this location selected out of all other potential locations? Did the residents think that the trash collectors would not see their heaping pile of garbage bags if they were in a different location - perhaps 20 or 30 feet away? I mean, it is literally the trash collectors' job to drive up and down the street and collect the garbage at the side of the road. There could be no possible way that they would miss this heap if it were anywhere else along the property line.

Considering the location of this particular hydrant, I am extremely pissed off that these residents think this is acceptable. This is the closest hydrant to my house, and if a fire occurred and the hydrant needed to be accessed, this could potentially cause a delay with getting water onto the fire. I wonder if the people who dumped this garbage considered the same for their cottage? Oh right, probably not, because they don't really "need" their cottage. They would likely be pleased they could claim it as a total loss and get a big fat check to build a new cottage in its place.

So, yeah: cidiots.

#134 Shopping Carts (Proper Disposition - Part 2)

I should have added this to my rant in #074 of my blog, but this instance was so ridiculous I couldn't even fathom the possibility of this even happening, which is why I didn't include it previously.

Why? I just....... How could you even........ Are you fucking kidding me?

I couldn't just ignore your incomprehensible and inexcusable shopping cart placement and just drive away (forward) from the situation since there was clearly another car parked in front of me. You have purposely inconvenienced someone else (in this case, ME) by being such a lazy piece of shit that you couldn't move your shopping cart elsewhere when you were finished with it. What the fuck is wrong with you?! You were obviously not parked in a designated handicapped spot - to which I still would have been pissed off but slightly less so, considering the possibility of whatever handicap you could be facing.

Dick move, man. DICK. MOVE.

#133 Feet on Seats (Restaurants)

Dining in a restaurant is supposed to be a nice experience which should be superior to that of your own home or someone else's. When I see someone sitting with their feet on seat(s) at restaurants, it is beyond me why they think that is appropriate behavior.

I recently dined for lunch in a chain restaurant which prides themselves on their burgers and unique drinks / beverages. While I was there, I actually saw TWO instances of this behavior, but I was only able to capture one of them due to my proximity to the offenders.

Consider all of the places that you walked through during the day just to get to this restaurant. You must have walked outside at some point, where people spit, birds and squirrels piss and shit, and dirt, dust, and pollen are everywhere (not to mention salt in the winter!).

You also probably used the restroom at some point during the morning, and whether it was private or public, I can assure you that the floor was not clean enough to eat from. Assuming you went to work that morning, you have the same types of under-shoe filth from everyone else at your place of employment, multiplied by the number of co-workers. Gross.

Also, do you have pets? Well if you do, you can't tell me that you think THEY are the sparkling embodiment of sanitary standards. They walk through their own piss (and sometimes shit) while they are doing their business (whether outside or inside) and they will also track their disgustingness anywhere that your feet touch the floor. Really makes you want to have that near your face while you're eating, huh?

Do you want people putting their shoes all over your furniture at your house? If this is acceptable to you, you probably shouldn't be dining out in the first place.

#132 Driving Without Confidence

I have a 46-mile commute to work (one-way) each weekday. I don't love that I have a long commute, but I do love where I live and that makes up for the amount of time I spend in my car every day. Public transportation is not an option for me in my area, so I am forced to drive my vehicle. I have accepted this fact a long time ago.

Also, I live in an area of the United States which experiences all four seasons, and the winter season can last anywhere between November and March depending on the weather patterns. This can make commuting to-and-from work a bit of a nightmare for me and the many other drivers on the road.

At the beginning of my commute I have to navigate 17 miles to the nearest interstate, and 11 of those miles is a 2-lane road (one lane in either direction). There are back / country roads that could be taken as an alternative route, but these 11 miles of 2-lane roadway is the main thoroughfare for practically everyone in my surrounding neighborhoods. The speed limit is 50 miles per hour so it goes by quickly, especially since everyone routinely drives 5-15 mph over the speed limit.

This particular 2-lane roadway is not very straight. That is, the road twists and curves gradually around a body of water. This enables a great line of sight between the front of the "line" of cars, and the back of the "line" when there is traffic.

Overnight we experienced a light dusting of snow, but nothing that was threatening to the roadways. This morning had very heavy traffic conditions on this 2-lane road, and it wasn't until I got around a curve did I realize what the holdup was: an uneasy driver, at the front of the line, literally holding up over 80 vehicles.

First of all, safety is critical. I don't fault this woman (and it was a woman) for driving slowly. What I DO fault her for is not getting out of the fucking way. At the beginning of this 11-mile stretch, traffic was already moving slowly. So slowly, in fact, that traffic was moving along at a whopping 31 miles per hour with a lot of stop-and-go action. At the moment the road first curved and I could see what was going on, I knew that my commute was going to suck hard.

People began passing when it was safe to do so. As I mentioned, this particular road is a main thoroughfare both in and out of town, so it's not like there wasn't any traffic going the other way. People were so desperate to pass her that they often used a center turn lane when it became available (for a short stretch of road), and some even used the shoulder.

Here's my main complaint: she could see both in front of and behind her vehicle for quite a ways (up to a mile in some spots!). She could definitely see that traffic was piling up behind her. She could definitely see that people were attempting to pass her illegally. It is my opinion that if she noticed these things, she should have pulled off the road, let traffic pass her by, then proceed to continue slowly with her commute. She shouldn't make everyone else suffer because of her lack of confidence on the road.

Once I was able to pass her, my timing was already pushed back into rush hour even worse than it was to start with. My commute this morning which normally takes about an hour, took nearly 2 hours because of the initial delay and now the additional traffic. Thanks a lot, bitch. As if my blood pressure wasn't high enough already.

#131 Punctuality (Time Management)

I have previously written about my mandatory one-hour lunch at work, and I have also written about punctuality in general. This particular rant encompasses both.

Every day at 11:30 I have to take my hour-long lunch. Every. Day. At 11:30. This never changes.

Every day at 11:30 I have agreed to leave work with someone to go run errands and grab lunch on the way. Every. Day. At 11:30. This never changes.

Yet EVERY DAY I am left searching the office for this person, or fetching this person from their desk at 11:30. Why? Well, that is a very good question. I would like to know the answer myself!

In a perfect world, I would look up at my rear-view desk mirror and notice that this person is walking up behind me with their coat on and car keys in hand. Ultimately, this is the goal. Perhaps I haven't nagged them enough yet. Perhaps I haven't trained them hard enough. Perhaps I haven't given them enough shit about how much it aggravates me that I have to go and search for them or remind them of the time. Perhaps they're just a self-centered dick who doesn't care about my feelings or being on time for any.fucking.thing in the world. Perhaps they just don't care.

I have even scheduled a reminder in their work calendar so that it pops up to remind them that in 15 minutes they should be leaving. The reminder is also set to pop up at 11:25 to give them a 5-minute heads-up. And, once again, it will remind them at 11:30, practically shouting, "Get off your ass, put your coat on, and walk over to Melanie's desk because it's TIME TO GO."

I doubt I will ever understand why people seem to lack the ability to manage their time properly, especially when their actions (or lack of actions) affect others. It seems like these people will never understand how truly frustrating they are to people like me.

#130 Restroom Stall Spacing

Having to use a public restroom while at work is a reality for many people. It's bad enough that we have to do our private business in a not-very-private place, but if people paid more attention to stall spacing (or urinal spacing, if you're male) things would be slightly less uncomfortable.

From what I understand, men have a hard-and-fast rule about using public urinals: always leave at least a one-urinal buffer between yourself and the next guy. This is especially important for the first guy up to the urinal: he sets the spacing for all those that follow him while he's in there.

I really wish that women would follow this thinking. Here is a photo of a restroom that I was in today.

Twice today when I went into this restroom someone was in the #2 standard-sized stall. In order to create (what I consider) proper spacing, what she should have done was chosen either the #1 or #3 standard-sized stall, or the handicap stall. Since the toilet in the handicap stall is against the far wall, there is already a built-in buffer between the handicap stall and the #3 standard-sized stall, so one person could occupy each of those and still have decent spacing between them. This would allow a third person to use the restroom in the #1 stall, all while maintaining the comfort of adequate spacing.

Hearing other people urinate is not so much an issue, but hearing other people poop is just disgusting. The farther away from me that you are while you're doing it, the better. Everyone poops, but I really don't want to hear it or even think about other people doing it.

#129 Vehicle Locking (Key Fob)

I drive over 100 miles every weekday. The bulk of these miles are accumulated going to and from work, but the additional few miles here and there are made going out to lunch or making stops along the way. Due to this massive amount of driving, my coworker and I take turns behind the wheel.

One thing that drives me insane (and believe me, there are many) is the fact that my coworker refuses to use the key fob to lock the doors while walking away from parking the vehicle. Rather than use the key fob when both of us have closed the doors, he will lock the vehicle from the switch on the inside of the door as he's exiting the vehicle. This occurs when he's either the driver OR the passenger.

I guess this wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't keep my purse in the rear seat, but every time I pop out of the vehicle and quickly try to open the rear door before he's hit the lock button, I rarely make it before he's done it. Then I have to wait for him to pull the keys back out of his pocket, locate the unlock button, then unlock the car, wait for me to pull out my purse, close the door, and then lock it again.

While I agree that keeping my purse in the rear seat is not the most efficient place for it to be located, I will argue that it is the best place for it for several reasons: 1. I don't want to put it on the floor because the floor is dirty, 2. the center console is not a suitable place for it, 3. I don't want to hold it for an hour while I'm a passenger, 4. it won't fit on my body while I'm buckled in as a driver, 5. it is less likely to cause injury in the event of a collision.

It's not like we're going to (or live in) a crime-ridden community. He attributes it more to habit than anything else. My question is whether he wants to make it a habit of me yelling at him, or just NOT hitting the lock button before closing his door?

#128 Carry-On Luggage Placement

I have been doing a fair amount of travelling lately. Primarily I fly coach, but I have also had the pleasure of flying first class as well. Regardless of where I'm seated, I feel that it is only courteous to abide by the unspoken rules of air travel with respect to carry-on luggage: only place your item(s) above or very near to your seat.

Including users' opinions, this article points out that everyone is entitled to any overhead bin located within their respective class. While I am willing to agree that this might be the case, I do not think it is fair or courteous by any means.

My particular gripe regarding this issue describes people who are seated near the rear of the plane, who feel that inserting their luggage near the front of the plane will help them get off the plane more quickly. I'm not talking about people who board the plane at the very last second, and place their luggage in the only space left - which happens to be near the front of the plane. I'm talking about people who voluntarily board the plane in random order, and obviously and deliberately place their luggage much farther forward on the plane than where they are to be seated.

I do not feel this behavior leads to any increased efficiencies whatsoever. In fact, quite the contrary.

Many bags look the same these days. Foolishly, luggage manufacturers continue to produce pieces of luggage which are black and/or grey, with zippers in the same locations, with rollers and a telescoping handle. My issue is not so much over the design of current luggage, but rather their individuality, namely their color (or lack of color variety). It is now more complicated to select your bag from "your" overhead bin since now you have several options.

Some people are a bit vertically challenged, and have a hard enough time putting up and pulling down their own luggage, but now they have to contend with people who have a sense of entitlement regarding their luggage placement when it comes to the simplicity of the boarding and deplaning the aircraft.

Often times, these people who are placing their luggage forward in the cabin are concerned that they are not going to be able to fit their luggage near their seat because perhaps their luggage might be a bit oversized. Here's a tip: most flight attendants are more than pleased to gate-check your bag for you, especially on a full or very-full flight. If you're near the rear of the plane, the luggage handlers will likely retrieve your bag and have it at the gate for you by the time you actually reach the front of the plane!

Some people are worried that if they gate-check their bag, it might get lost. Quite the opposite is true, actually! There's a better chance for your bag to get lost if you fully check your bag (at the ticketing counter prior to the security checkpoint) as opposed to checking it in the gate. Never gate-checked a bag? Here's what happens: a luggage handler, from outside the aircraft, climbs up the stairs outside the skyway, retrieves your bag, and safely places it under the plane. When you land, the same thing happens in reverse order. It's not going anywhere! Seriously!

Everybody on the same plane has probably paid more money than they wished in order to take the flight that they're on, and since everyone is already on edge with security issues and personal space, people should just suck it up and be courteous to others, no matter what that might require. If that means bringing a smaller bag and less stuff, so be it.

#127 Inconsideration (Time)

Time is incredibly valuable; you can never get it back. What we do with our personal time is sacred these days, so when someone is inconsiderate of my time I get really frustrated.

I recently borrowed a vehicle from someone to use for a specific purpose. They knew I was coming to pick it up at least a few hours in advance. They knew approximately what time I would be arriving and they knew that I only had a short amount of time to pick it up and leave since I was on my lunch hour from work. They also knew that I had to rely on someone else to take me there, therefore using up someone else’s valuable time.

When I arrived, they were completely ill-prepared. They didn't greet me at the door when I arrived. They took their time coming outside. They didn't have the keys ready. They didn't have essential items cleared out of it. They couldn't locate the key fob. They proceeded to engage in a lengthy conversation about some random crap that had nothing to do with the vehicle.

Something that could have literally taken less than 5 minutes took nearly 20 minutes.

Then another incident happened with the same person. This person needed something that I had in my possession, and called me at 10:15 pm to ask me to bring it with me to work the next day. This person was going out of town and needed what I had. Since I was nearly in bed by this point, I had to get dressed to go outside to the garage to fetch what they needed, then put it in my vehicle to take to work the next day.

Once I got to work the next day, they called and said they were coming to pick it up from my place of employment, but that they needed to shower first but they would be there in 20 minutes. With this person, 20 minutes = at least 35. I was leaving work in 30 minutes (again, they waited until the very last possible moment) and I was not about to be late because I have commitments that need to be kept. There was NO WAY this person was going to make it by the time I left. Instead, this person had to go out of their way to get what they needed rather than making a compromise with me, which ended up making them irritated and put off because of the situation.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, PEOPLE.

Simple preparation and adequate communication solves lots of headaches down the road. Just take a couple minutes to prepare for the situation ahead of you, discuss the details with those parties affected, and you will make those around you happy.

If you don't have time to prepare ahead of time, at least let the other person(s) know. They may be able to adjust their schedule to better accommodate the situation, and won't be so disappointed and frustrated when they arrive and have to deal with your lack of preparation and wasting their precious time.

#126 Saying: "Do what now?"

I have previously written about having to repeat myself and how much I dislike doing so. Recently I have had some interactions with people located outside of my home state, and they repeat a phrase which they intend for me to repeat myself or clarify further. This phrase is, "Do what now?"

After doing a little bit of research on the internet, apparently (according to non-published sources) this is a "Southern U.S." colloquialism. I would say that I can agree with the fact that it could potentially be a regional saying, much like soda is represented by soda / soft drink / pop / soda pop, etc. in different parts of the United States, but I’m not convinced it is only prevalent in the South.

This phrase frustrates me. Saying "Do what now?" implies that I asked you to do something. I'm not asking anyone to do anything. If you didn't hear me, you can simply use other words to ask me to repeat what I said. If I ask, "How many pencils are on the table?" or, "How is your sister feeling?" this should elicit a singular, definitive answer, and then maybe an further explanation if necessary.

It is entirely possible that the people who use this phrase often are not even aware that they are doing so. It is also entirely possible that people say this all the time and other people simply do not recognize that it is being said, or simply don't care. I tend to pay very close attention to detail, and I pick up on things like this – for better or worse.

I sincerely feel that the world would be a better place if everyone was more self-aware.

#125 Incomplete Responses (e-mail)

In today's information age, it is quite easy to exchange information electronically both with people you know and people you don't know. In response to an ad posted by someone I don't know, I discussed the possibility of this person renting out my camper for a one- or two-week period of time. This exchange was occurring over a community-networking site which allows (verified) neighbors to communicate with one another, ask questions, post events, etc. Everything about this particular interaction with this woman was completely annoying and cumbersome.

It should be noted that she posted an ad about the camper a couple of months ago. I read this ad when she posted it, but I didn't really consider it until recently. I contacted her privately through the site and asked her if she was still looking to rent a camper. Every response she gave me was incomplete! I would ask her a couple of questions, then she would only answer one. Or I would ask her a two-part question and she would only answer maybe one (if any!) of it. Here is how the conversation went:

First of all, her name is Lisa, but after I called her I found out she pronounces it "Lissa". WTF?!? Also, I was asking her all of these questions because I want to know what's involved here. I could charge her a smaller fee for a week if she was going to pick it up / drop it off herself and clean it out and everything, or I could charge her more depending on what all she needed. If we have to clean out the shitter, you bet your ass I'm charging more!

Me: Hi Lisa, are you still looking to rent a camper?
(three days later) Lisa: Could you tell me about the camper, size etc?
Me: I think it is a 26-foot or 28-foot camper. It is a fifth-wheel.
Lisa: How much would you charge a week or 2?
Me: Do you have a hookup for a fifth wheel (to trailer it)? Are you going to be taking it somewhere?
Lisa: No it would be at our house.
Me: Will there be children staying in it, or just adults? This camper also has a toilet, shower, stove, fridge, etc. Do you need to use all of those things or is it mainly just going to be for sleeping? Do you have dates? We are going on vacation in September so I just want to make sure we will be around to bring it to you when the time comes.
Lisa: Adults maybe a week or 2 in July. We are building a house which is almost done we ar waiting for the power to be done from [electric company].
Me: Will you be using the stove and fridge? I assume your house plumbing will be working so you won’t need running water in the camper.
Lisa: Wouldn’t use the stove etc but might use the water
Me: Would you use the toilet? Do you have your water hooked up yet?
Lisa: Don’t have water yet suppose to be this week do you want to just call me xxx-xxx-xxxx?
Me: Can I call you this evening around 8pm?
Lisa: Yes thank you

At exactly 8:00 (on the dot!) I called her but she didn't answer. I assumed that perhaps she wouldn't take calls from phone numbers she didn't recognize, but the fact that she should have been expecting my call and she still didn't answer was ridiculously annoying. I waited five minutes and called her again, and she didn't answer again. I left her a voicemail asking her not to return my call after 9pm because my small child would be sleeping. She called back around 8:45pm, citing some excuse that she left her phone in the house which she apparently never EVER does, and she apologized.

I just don't understand; if it was going to be so difficult (for her) to communicate her needs over the internet, why didn't she just offer he phone number sooner? It would have saved both of us a ton of time. I wouldn't have had to ask her several questions only for her to answer one. I hope all of this effort doesn’t go to waste, and I hope I can profit by letting her rent the camper! What a pain in the ass.

#124 Grocery Store Checkout Belt Triangles

Earlier in my adulthood I was a cashier / service clerk at a major chain grocery store. I'm quite certain a number of ergonomic advances have been put into place even before I started working in the industry, but one that has been showing up more and more are these triangles at the end of the belt nearest to the cashier.

When I was in this business, we didn't have these triangles. But I get it: the purpose is for the cashier to be as ergonomic as possible and have to do the least amount of strain on their joints. This triangle is meant to be an assist. In theory, the triangle will push the items on the belt closer to the cashier so they don't have to strain to push/slide it across the scanner and into a bag or down another belt. Although, during a normal 8-hour work day I would *maybe* get one item that I couldn't see in that little corner where the triangles are now located, but I feel like it happened less frequently than that, even. Is it worth the effort? I'm not convinced.

Every time I see these triangles in action, more often than not they're just squishing a loaf of bread or a bag of chips or some other grocery item. The photo taken for this blog entry was actually taken by me on a recent trip to the chain store I used to work for. If you notice, I have slid all of my groceries to the far side of the belt so that nothing will get caught in the triangle. In fact, the cases of soda are so wide (long?) that they will actually get caught on the triangle and push the rest of the groceries back. This occurs because there is an optical sensor just below the employee's right hand (in this photo) which senses that there are objects on the belt and the belt should stop automatically moving. In addition, after taking this photo, I immediately moved my bag of lunchmeat so it would not get caught by the triangle. Good thing I was paying attention!

Now, if everyone thought like me, everyone would also push all of their items to the side of belt closest to the cashier. (In fact, they would also probably group all of their groceries together how they wish them to be packed, but that's a totally different blog entry, possibly forthcoming.) But not everyone thinks like me. Not everyone is intelligent, either. A lot of people go through most of their day on auto-pilot, much like these cashiers, probably. They don't care if your groceries get smashed, they're just trying to get through their day and avoid having to deal with rude or bitchy customers.

#123 Voice Volume

A guy that I work with is notorious for having a loud, booming voice. Apparently all of our company's customers that interact with him just love him because he's nice or whatever, but I am so annoyed by him for many, many reasons.

When I first started working at this company, we had to work on a project together. He called me by a different name on a number of occasions: Melissa, Michelle, Lisa (don't ask me how you get Lisa from Melanie... I will never know). He has also sent numerous emails to a different Melanie (probably the only other person in the entire company who shares my first name) because he once sent her an email so her name pops up in the "To:" field first (and he's too oblivious to notice). My name is not that difficult. If I had a strange or unusual name that is predominant in a foreign country, I could totally understand that someone could have some difficulty with it. I could also understand if perhaps we didn't work together often, but this guy saw me in the office every single day.

He also draws out many filler words. "Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" or "oooooooooooookaaaaaaaayyyy" or even "wellllllllllllllllll" are ones he uses often. Then he passes by and starts off with, "Heeeeeeeeyyyyy there." A simple, "Good morning" or "Hello" would suffice, thanks.

This guy is lucky enough to have an office. He frequently has conversations with coworkers outside of his office, and his voice can literally be heard clear across half the building (or farther!). This is particularly distracting when a) I'm on the phone (this causes difficulty hearing the person(s) on the other end of the line, and b) when the conversation is non-work related, which is often the case.

Actually, conversations that occur within his office are particularly distracting as well. He will actually talk louder while he's on the phone in his office than when he has a face-to-face conversation with someone. On a few different occasions I have actually walked over to his office and closed the door while he was talking to someone (either on speakerphone, on the telephone handset, or in-person).

I don't understand why, if there is a door on your office, you don't CLOSE IT when you're having a conversation. No one wants to hear what you're talking about! If you want someone to join the conversation, please invite them into your office. If you don't want people to hear a private conversation, close the door. Additionally, lowering your voice is helpful, too! In most cases, the conversations this guy is having are of absolutely no interest to me.

Some people would argue that I could just ignore him. To that argument I say, "It's easier said than done." Even with earbuds playing music or laboratory-issued certified hearing protection for noisy environments, I can STILL hear hear his voice. It's ridiculous.

#122 Touching (Toes)

It has been FAR too long since I have updated this blog. In the meantime, I have been keeping a list of things that bother me, and when I'm having a particularly shitty day or when I just feel like bitching or venting, I pull out the list and pick a topic. Today's topic features inappropriate touching from coworkers.

I have written about touching pregnant bellies and also touching me in general, but this post is about touching someone's feet. Specifically, when someone touched mine.

I was recently on a business trip to a different city in a different state in a completely different part of the country. Unfortunately, a few months ago I broke my leg when I slipped on some ice (which is also part of the reason I haven't been blogging) and I had a cast on one of my legs. It was a quick trip, but this trip was long enough to include 2 nights each with their own cocktail hour and group dinner.

I traveled on an airplane and in taxis with my broken leg, and in order for me to get around I had been using a Rollabout - a "knee scooter" - to keep my leg off the ground. This scooter is an alternative to crutches, and in my opinion it was a lifesaver.

The final night of the trip, a director-level executive (this is not his name, but I'll call him Barry) took everyone out for a nice meal at a nice restaurant after cocktails at the hotel. Once everyone was seated in the private room where dinner was being served, they opened the bar so everyone could come up and get a drink. I was waiting at the bar with a colleage, standing on one leg with my broken leg resting/balancing on my scooter. Before long I realized something was touching the bottom of my toes. At first I thought it might be a server's apron or a tablecloth or something of that nature, but it didn't stop so I looked behind me. Barry had left his place in line, walked over to me, tickled the bottom of my exposed toes (the small amount that was sticking out of my cast).... then he SNIFFED HIS FINGERS and loudly proclaimed, "Ohhh, they're kind of stinky!" in front of the entire room of about 60 of our colleagues.

I was so shocked and so uncomfortable, I just joked about the situation and said something to the effect of, "Well, it's not like I can wash my feet..." to which he replied, "No, but you could wipe your toes or something!". At this point all of his cronies were laughing at his "jokes" while I remained at the bar until my drink arrived, then quickly took my seat at a table which was 2 tables away from him. Before I left the bar, he asked if he could help get me a drink, but I assured him that I didn't need his assistance.

I did have some witnesses, but they didn't seem to think much of it. In fact, they seemed to think that Barry would have done this to me whether I was female OR male. Basically they were just defending him and made it out to be less than it was.

If Barry had touched my arm or my shoulder or even my back, I think that would have been significantly more acceptable than my toes... even though I still would not have appreciated it. Who touches toes?! People with foot fetishes. What is the draw to touch someone's toes while wearing a cast? I really shouldn't even have to justify WHY touching my toes was completely inappropriate. But apparently, I had to.

What if this dinner was being held in the summer, and his wife was in attendance wearing open-toed shoes... If someone touched HER toes, would he have blown a gasket or just laughed it off? Would he have said anything to the person who touched her toes? Most heterosexual men I know wouldn't DARE touch another guy's toes, regardless of whether they were sticking out of a cast or not... so I'm not buying that "he would have done it regardless" excuse whatsoever.

I confronted him about this issue, and in fact, I included the human resources department. Here's how it went down:

Barry: You know, I've gotta tell ya... this just caught me way off guard. I would have never thought in a million years we'd be having this conversation. First of all, I want to say I apologize. I didn't know that I was offending you. We were at this dinner, and you were kind of off to the side... and I was just touching your toe to get your attention to see if I could get you a drink at the bar, and apparently this thing didn't set well with you, so I apologize. I guess I just want to open up the conversation and just... what happened? What did I do that was so offensive? I really want to know because I don't ever want to do that again.
Me: I just -- I felt really, really uncomfortable. If it was like my shoulder or my arm or something, I could totally understand that. I just feel like it's a part of my body that I wouldn't expect anybody to go anywhere near. After you did that, you sniffed your fingers and said, "Ohhh, they're kind of stinky!" and I was really embarrassed, and I --
Barry: I did not do that...
Me: Yes, you did.
Barry: No, I did not.
Me: Yes, you did!
Barry: No.....
HR: I can't agree or negate that.
Me: Well I certainly wouldn't make that up, but regardless, it's done and over, but I just felt really, really uncomfortable and I just -- I didn't know what to do so I just kind of shrugged it off and sort of joked about it with you because it was a light mood and everybody was having a good time. The more I thought about it, the more it just really didn't set well with me. Then, I spoke to my husband about it and he just did not appreciate the fact that that happened... I don't know. It just put me in a really, really uncomfortable position, and I didn't want to make it out to be more serious than it was, but still at the same time I didn't know how else to handle it and so that's why I spoke to HR about it.
Barry: Well that's fine; I understand that you went to HR. That's the right thing to do. Again, I apologize, I didn't know it was going to be that offensive. I meant nothing by it other than to just get your attention to see if you wanted for me to get you a drink at the bar. I apologize. I just didn't realize it was going to be that offensive. It'll never happen again, believe me.
Me: Okay. I realize my toes were exposed; it was warm; I didn't have my sock on and whatever. I just didn't expect it at that time, and I don't think I would have expected it at any time from anybody that I work with.
Barry: I certainly understand. It won't happen again, believe me.
Me: Thank you.

I can speculate all I want, but the fact of the matter is that it was totally inappropriate and unjustified. I sincerely hope that I never have to deal with pervy guys like this ever again.

#121 Interrupting (Mid-Sentence)

The ability to be a good listener is an asset that a lot of people simply don't have these days. People tend to make more informed decisions based on the information provided if they are good listeners and catch everything being told to them. I understand that some people are simply hard of hearing to some degree or another, but when someone simply does not pay attention then blatantly cuts me off to say, "Huh??" in the middle of my thought or sentence, that really irritates the hell out of me.

If someone is speaking and you miss the first couple of words that they said, generally you can figure out the gist of what they're trying to say if you just keep listening. Once the speaker has finished their thought, if you still haven't grasped the point they’re trying to make, you can politely ask that they repeat what they said by telling them what you heard so they can fill in the rest.

But if someone begins a thought and midway through that thought (or word, even) you cut them off to blurt out "Huh??" because you didn't catch the first couple of words, that is completely rude and unnecessary.

#120 Spoons In Pots

Food preparation is a bit of an art form. More importantly, it takes coordination and planning. If you're not able to properly coordinate and plan a meal, you end up with warm foods that are cold and cooked foods that are overdone.

You really don't have to be a good cook to be able to coordinate a meal (of course it does help), but there are little things you can do to keep foods warm so that they can be eaten at an optimal temperature and not irritate people in the process. One of those things is to keep the lid on the pot instead of putting the serving spoon in the pot AND THEN putting the lid on it.

Someone I know recently went to the trouble of preparing an entire meal for us, and they even went as far as to turn off the ceiling fan above the table so that the food wouldn’t get cold. The problem with this theory, however, was that the food was already getting cold because they put the fucking spoon in the pot AND THEN PUT THE LID ON IT, so the heat was escaping from the pot the whole time it was sitting there prior to being served.

It shouldn't be too difficult to understand: if the lid is not on the pot correctly, the heat from inside the pot will escape and then the food will get cold. Easy enough, right? Apparently not. This person repeatedly does this, even after countless attempts (from me) to correct this behavior.

#119 Attempting to Avoid Perception of Laziness

Laziness is a major turnoff. I'm not opposed to being lazy on occasion because sometimes you JUST NEED TO be lazy in order to relax and recharge. However, people who are habitually lazy but say things to imply that they don't want to be perceived as lazy piss me off the most. Let me give you an example:

The trash is full and overflowing, so much so that in order to put more trash in the can one must physically remove the lid, insert the trash, then replace the lid in order for the trash to be contained (which, in and of itself, pisses me off), making it impossible for anyone after them to insert more trash because the same scenario (the lid cannot open because there's too much trash) repeats until someone finally removes the bag. When the lazy person in question sees me frustratingly removing the lid and removing the bag, they state, "I was going to do that" as if to tell me, "Don't think I'm lazy just because I didn't remove the garbage… I was going to get to it at some point. Like, probably when the bag gets so full that it rips while being removed creating yet another mess that needs to be cleaned."

Don't tell me "I was going to do that", but rather: DO IT. You knew when you removed the lid to fit more trash in there that the can was full and should probably be emptied. So why didn't you do it? If you had to throw anything else away after that, it would have taken more effort to remove the lid again than to just remove the bag then and there so a fresh bag could be inserted and the lid could swing freely. But, no. That did not happen. You were too lazy to do that.

This scenario doesn't only apply to trash, but to any other mandatory regularly-occurring task that needs to happen such as:

Unloading / loading the dishwasher. "I was going to do that."
Picking up dog poop. "I was going to do that."
Mowing the lawn. "I was going to do that."
Doing / putting away laundry. "I was going to do that."
Putting fuel in the car. "I was going to do that."
Getting the mail. "I was going to do that."
Making a meal. "I was going to do that."
Running the vacuum. "I was going to do that."
Cleaning the bathroom. "I was going to do that."

If you notice something that needs to happen (i.e. any of the above items or anything else) that you keep putting off, don't just look at it and think to yourself, "I should really do that..." and then NOT do it. Don’t be lazy. Be like the old Nike campaign: just do it.

#118 Communication of Information (over the phone)

Email addresses can be tricky, especially when company names or people's names are very long or when it's a homonym. However, when the domain name is easy and the prefix or "local" part is tricky, sometimes it becomes necessary to either sound it out or use examples (like the phonetic alphabet) when trying to communicate over the phone.

I work with a guy whose last name contains only 5 letters. At this business, our email addresses work in a few different methods: [first initial][last name]@[company].com, or more preferably [first initial][4-digits]@[company].com, where the 4 digits are either the last 4 of their Social Security Number or the 4-digit month/day they were hired (like April 25 would be 0425). Therefore, it would be easier for him to use his digits rather than try to spell out his last name since his name is a little unusual.

But does he think of using the 4 digits? No, of course not. He's so proud of his last name and so adamant about using it that he continuously spells his name out, calling out each letter (with an example), at least ten times per day. This occurs even more if he has to leave people voicemails! Let's assume his name is Brian Slays (it's not). Slays is not a difficult last name to spell, but over the phone it could be confused or misspelled – what I'm getting at is that it's not as obvious as Jones or Smith. So he will say, "...my email address is B as in Brian, S as in Sam, L as in Larry, A as in Apple, Y as in Yellow, S as in Sam, at [company].com".

Instead, he could just say, "B as in Brian, S as in Sam, 0 – 4 – 2 – 5 at [company].com". See? See how much more easy that was?! Less to say, and more direct. Numbers are WAY easier than letters over the phone. If it's available, why not use it??

I also understand that, for security purposes, people may be hesitant to use their 4-digits instead of their last name if it were the last numbers of their Social Security Number. By the way – whomever thought of that should have seriously reconsidered it before implementing that procedure. How about the last 4 of their employee number or something else instead?! Why the SSN? That's such an important group of numbers to be sharing with the world in light of all of the identity theft these days.

At any rate, people with longer names in the company I work for should definitely consider using their 4-digits, be it their SSN or hire date, instead of their full name. Or, you can do what I do, and just ask for their email address up front so you can email them your information instead of trying to communicate it over the phone. Let's not have to go the way of the fax machine, either.

#117 Dirty Dishes in the Sink

I have previously mentioned that I'm currently in a less-than-stellar living environment, and that there are certain things that bother me in this situation that I really can't control or even change for the duration of my home remodel... because it's not my house and not my family and I have no right to say anything or change anything. However, that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to dislike it. In this case, dirty dishes piled up in the sink are bothering me.

Please note that the display in this post's photo is NOT located in my current dwelling, but this photo does represents the annoyance I am faced with every single day. The person responsible for the dirty dishes in the sink insists that everyone else contribute to this person's delinquency as it pertains to their laziness of appropriate dirty-dish-placement. For example, rather than place my dirty dishes in the dishwasher (which is either clean and has been waiting to be emptied all day, or dirty and has only a few items loaded), this person would rather I stack my dirty dishes in the sink so that they, at a later time, can do all of the rinsing and loading into the dishwasher because everything needs to fit "just so" in order to run the dishwasher the least amount of times necessary.

Additionally, because the dishes are piled so high in the sink, it is next to impossible to even use the faucet at all, let alone do something sanitary like wash one's hands.

And not only do they go to such an extent to run the dishwasher as little as possible, but they pre-wash everything before it goes into the dishwasher. I don't mean like just removing chunks of food and giving it a slight rinse... I mean they full-on wipe the dishes with a sponge with soap before loading everything into the machine.

Yesterday I went out of my way to make sure that I loaded the dishwasher (as "just so" as I could possibly fathom), ran it, emptied it, and re-loaded with the few dishes in the sink before going to bed, and then today when I came home there were dirty dishes in the sink rather than placed in the dishwasher to keep them from stinking up the kitchen or clogging up the sink.

Teabags. Used teabags. USED! In the sink!!! WHYYY?!???!??! THROW THEM AWAY!!!!!!!!!

#116 Punctuality (Appearance)

I work with someone who literally lives two streets away from the facility (less than a half mile) and this person is constantly arriving to work 15 minutes late and showing up with wet hair. It's definitely not some sort of "wet-look" product they are using in their hair either, because it's dry in a matter of about an hour.

If you're running late for work for any reason, you will likely take a quicker shower than usual because you know you're running behind. That is of, course, that you actually care about your job... That being said, perhaps you need to wake up just a smidge earlier in order to make it to work on time???? Or, if you really can't spare the 5 minutes it takes to blow-dry your hair, perhaps you should consider showering at night instead. Seriously, if it takes you less than 2 minutes to drive to work, maybe you shouldn't set your alarm for the time you actually have to BE at work.

#115 Trash (Emptying)

Currently my house is under construction and I'm in a living situation that is less than ideal for my mental well-being. However, it is extremely cheap and I'm getting a lot of free daycare (and I'm very close to the project), so I really can't complain too much. But one thing I can't stand about living where I am is the trash situation in this household.

I have written about trash before, but this is a little different. This family goes through so much trash I can't even believe it. In my household we typically fill a tall kitchen garbage can full of trash in about 6 days. Changing the trash in this household occurs on a daily basis. I believe this largely has to do with the fact that they don't recycle (shame on them), so bottles and cans that should otherwise be recycled are not compressed and take up a lot of space in the garbage can.

Also, everyone is so lazy that they just fill and fill and overfill the garbage can until the lid will no longer close because there is so much trash in there, and no one takes the lid off to remove the bag and replace it with a new one. Because, you know, if you empty the garbage can, you actually have to (gasp!) take the bag outside and walk down (and then up again?!) some stairs to the outdoor garbage can. It seems like every time I go to throw something away the garbage can is already full again. I feel like I just emptied it!!! Oh wait... I did.

#114 Sour Cream

Sour cream is delicious. Even my lactose intolerance can't keep me away! For the most part I use sour cream on Mexican foods, and I like to use a lot of it. Of course sour cream is used for various other dishes, but rarely is it used as a topping as often as on Mexican food (for me, anyways).

However, sour cream is not so easy to spread and that really bothers me. There is a particular brand whose slogan is "Do a Dollop", but I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do less with sour cream. I don't want some gigantic mound of sour cream right in the middle of my dish.... OH NO. I want to spread that sour cream all around and share the white creamy goodness with every bite of my meal. So how does one do this? SQUEEZE SOUR CREAM.

I'm kind of surprised that squeeze sour cream is not as popular as perhaps it should be. The person I live with insists that it tastes worse than the "dollop" variety. I would agree that it tastes different, because after all they are made from different companies... but not worse. This person also gets practically irate over the fact that I would even purchase the kind you squeeze.

When you go to a fast-food restaurant with a Mexican cuisine, they use a device that looks like a caulk gun to inject the sour cream along the length of the item (taco, burrito, etc.). Who wants to waste their time with a heaping spoonful of sour cream just to fling it onto the food and not be able to spread it?! Not me, that's for sure. And the restaurant doesn't have time for that crap, either. Shoot it on there, wrap it up. Next!

It seems like such a waste, also. You stick the spoon in the tub of sour cream, you drop your dollop onto your food, and then your spoon still has sour cream on it. Then you risk contaminating the tub of sour cream because as you're attempting to fling the sour cream off the spoon, often times the spoon will contact the food... then you can't put the spoon back in the tub for more.

#113 Mocking (Infants)

Mocking. We've all probably done it at some time or another throughout our lives, most likely while we were younger and didn't know any better. As an adult, mocking is a childish behavior. But what do you call it when an adult mocks a child (an infant, even)? I call it: wrong.

I have an infant, and most infants cry and whine and can be generally cranky a lot, but that's what they do... because they're BABIES. Why anyone would take that opportunity to mock an infant is beyond me, but several people close to me think it is appropriate behavior.

Imagine you're caring for an infant, and the infant is cranky and whines and makes a sound like, "meeeeeeyaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh"... would you then make that same sound back to them? If your answer is YES, I probably dislike you. Mocking an infant is not only childish, but incredibly rude... especially if it is not your own child, and even more so if it is your family member!

#112 Multiple Entry Doors

My house used to be someone's cottage, and therefore it does not have some amenities that newer houses have such as laundry inside the house or an attached garage. The only available laundry hookup is in the detached garage which was added at a much later date than when the house was originally built. And actually, the garage is almost as large as the house with half of it available for vehicle parking, and the other half is a recreational/storage/utility area with baseboard heating. While the detached garage is convenient for things such as painting and doing work that creates loud noises, it is not domestically convenient.

I live in a part of the United States that experiences all four seasons for about three months each. So that means when I have to do laundry or go out to my vehicle (parked in the garage), I have to go outside. I don't have to walk very far - perhaps 25 feet or so - but going through so many doors is what irritates so much.

When leaving the house I have to go through a front door with a knob and a latched storm door, down a few steps to the ground... walk along the path then to get into the garage I have to pass through a latched storm door and another entry door which also has a keypad (so we can leave it locked and not require a key). Now I'm in the garage, but to get to the laundry room I have to open yet another door with a knob. If I want to get to the section of the garage where my vehicle is parked, I have to open an entry door with a knob AND push open a screen door. Then, of course, to get the vehicle out of the garage there is an overhead door, but that's not such a big deal because all you have to do for that one is press a button.

"Why so many doors?" you may ask. Well, when the weather is pleasant the storm doors are kept screened so that the fresh air can pass through without allowing any bugs or critters in the structure. The entry doors are installed to provide insulation to keep the heat or the air conditioning contained in the structure and, of course, to protect against people trying to get in. But when you put all of these doors together with trying to carry something in your hands (i.e. a laundry basket or a child in a carseat) it becomes rather annoying and challenging to say the least.

Laundry is a pain in the ass enough as it is, now you're telling me I have to go through (count them) FIVE doors - while carrying a laundry basket full of clothes - just to do it? AND I have to walk outside when it's 20 degrees Fahrenheit?!? I don't think so.

Now that we have a kid, it's not just him we have to haul out to the car... OH NO. You have to carry a ton of stuff with you at all times. So trying to juggle a car seat with a child, a diaper bag, a bottle bag, an extra toy or two, PLUS whatever I need to bring for myself, then have to go through (count them) SIX doors AND THEN the vehicle door........ well that's just one giant pain in the ass! It's too much opening and closing. If I could put automatic openers on my doors somehow, I would absolutely do that.

#111 Gift Receipts

Another holiday season has come and (thankfully) gone, and people everywhere are returning gifts they received that they didn't like. I, however, had a more difficult time returning gifts this year because one side of my family decided not to include a gift receipt with their gifts given to me, which coincidentally happens every single year.

I don't get it. Why not include a gift receipt?! If I give someone a gift, I always include a gift receipt just in case anything is even slightly off with what I decided that person probably likes... why? Because I'm not right all of the time, and I would rather give them the receipt up front so they can deal with having to exchange or return it without having to ask me for the receipt later. That way, I can go about thinking that I picked out a good gift and I would be none the wiser that they didn't like it or it was the wrong thing. If they didn't like it, they wouldn't tell me, so I can just assume that they liked it and go about my merry way.

People's feelings are at stake here. Do I risk upsetting my mother-in-law by asking her for the receipt for a shirt that she bought me that is too small (bless her heart for thinking I wear that size)? No. I just go to the store she bought it from and buy something for my son instead. The problem is that I probably won't get back the money that she paid for it because I don't have the receipt. She likely purchased it at a higher price than what the price is after the holiday, so technically we're both losing and the store gets to keep the extra money. Besides, even if I asked her for the receipt later, the chances of her finding it are slim-to-none anyways.

Then there's the case of duplicate gifts. What if the gift someone gave you was so awesome that someone else decided they were going to give you the same gift? You probably don't need 2 of them, so you'd likely return one. However, if the only place to return it was to a store that you don't like to shop, you're stuck with a merchandise credit for that store and you end up having to spend money there when you'd rather have money to spend elsewhere for something you need rather than some frivolous gift you are forced to purchase for yourself or someone else.

I seriously would rather receive nothing at all than something I didn't want that I would have to go return to a store. I hate shopping. Perhaps I sound ungrateful that I am receiving gifts at all, but I would rather not do a gift exchange if that were an option. I'm SO OVER IT. If it weren't for people's feelings, I would simply opt out of these types of family functions altogether because I just don't like doing it anymore. It's more of a pain in the ass now than it has ever been before.

What it comes down to is this: get to know the person you're purchasing a gift for, so you know what kinds of things they like and especially what they don't like. This will save everyone a lot of hassle in the long run. But if you're not going to do that, at least include a gift receipt.

#110 Copier Issues

Technology is a force to be reckoned with. It is in our everyday lives, and is nearly impossible to avoid.

At my office there are several "copy" machines which are used for making copies, printing, faxing, and scanning. Don't get me started about faxing, but using this machine is pretty straightforward. This type of machine has been around for at least a decade, so people who have been in office settings for quite some time should be accustomed to them.

However, this is apparently not the case. My desk is situated within earshot of this multipurpose machine, and people are routinely perplexed by the multitude of functions available. They are also frustrated when something goes wrong, and just look at the machine as if their eyes should be able to solve the problem rather than following some simple steps in order to resolve the issue.

For example, according to this Wikipedia page, the US and Canada are the only countries that have not adopted the ISO standard for paper sizes. In this day and age of global business practices, it should be expected that some documents will get formatted to an "A4" or other ISO paper size. So when they are printed in the US or Canada the printers don't recognize this size and require assistance from the user. I don't usually think to check the document size before I print so I wouldn't expect anyone else to check either, but the printer starts freaking out and beeping and flashing lights to alert the user that there was an error and some assistance is required. There's a bright red button that you have to push and select an alternate paper size because that paper size isn't already loaded in the printer. LITERALLY it's just two steps, but people just can't seem to figure it out or comprehend what happened!

There is also someone in my office who regularly has to scan documents. However, the sheets of paper this person receives to scan are always crinkled up with corners folded and dirty and just overall not very "flat" pieces of paper. This person tries to use the auto-feed feature where the printer sucks the paper in, scans it, then spits it back out, but since the sheets of paper are so untidy they tend to jam the machine which makes the process take longer and results in this person swearing at the machine under their breath.

Also, adding paper to the machine..... I really fail to see the difficulty in this task, however yesterday someone managed to fill the machine with paper on THE OTHER SIDE of the plastic divider that holds the paper in place. But seriously, don't get me started on printer paper replenishment. This person just could NOT figure out why their document didn't print even though they JUST loaded the printer full of paper.

#109 Distributing Leftovers

Consuming leftover meals is a great way to make sure that food doesn't spoil, but also to save money. Taking leftovers to work for lunch the next day ensures you don't spend money on going to a restaurant which can add up quickly when done on a regular basis.

However, placing the leftovers in the refrigerator by leaving the food in whatever it was cooked in is annoying. Instead, take the extra step and distribute the food into smaller portions and place them into individual containers.

Say you make a casserole of some sort. If you're like me and you don't like to cook, you make a large-enough casserole for dinner so that you can have leftovers and not have to make another meal the next day. Once you've eaten your casserole for dinner, divide up what's left and put it into separate, smaller containers for lunch the next day. Doing this makes it incredibly easy to grab right before leaving for work in the morning. Also, it allows you a bit of portion control.

Don't be lazy: take the extra step and split it up before calling it a night.

#108 Volume Level (TV / radio)

Everyone's sense of hearing is a little different. What is too loud for one person can be perfectly acceptable or too quiet for someone else. However, when it comes to electronics that have sound controls, everyone should turn the volume down to a low volume before turning them off.

I recently visited with friends of mine and their 2-year-old daughter was playing with a soft ball. She tossed the ball and it hit the power button on a clock-radio and the radio came on at seemingly full volume. It scared her such that her whole body shook and she started crying because it startled her so badly. Who the hell leaves their clock-radio on the heavy metal station at full blast?!

We have a woman come to our house and clean every couple of weeks. While she's cleaning she turns the TV up really loudly so she can hear it in all parts of the house. However, she doesn't return the volume to a lower level when she leaves, so when we turn the TV on later it's extremely loud. This is horribly inconvenient when my baby's sleeping and I just want to zone out and watch some tv for a while. Instead, the TV wakes up my child and then I can't watch TV because I have to calm a crying baby.

Driving someone else's vehicle is awkward enough - you have to worry about adjusting the seat, mirrors, steering wheel, armrest... so when you turn on the vehicle, the last thing you want is to have the radio blasting your head off, especially if you don't even like their taste in music! Even if they don't leave the radio ON when the vehicle is started, they should still return it to a low volume before turning it OFF as well.

#107 Turn Signals

I do a lot of driving, mainly due to my proximity to the places I frequent. Therefore, I suppose it's only natural that most of my frustrations and annoyances come from something I do a lot (second probably to working).

In this country, most people begin learning how to drive in their mid-teens. However, we are all exposed to vehicles our entire lives. We are placed in cars from the moment we come home from the hospital after being born, so we should be observing and picking up on how to operate them properly from a very early age... right? Properly was the operative word in that last question.

I guess it just comes down to laziness, but people simply don't use their turn signals anymore. A lot of people actually do, but there are just not enough of them on the road. It seems hard to believe sometimes, but every vehicle on the road is equipped with them - you would never know this by observing all of the drivers who don't even acknowledge their existence. In fact, according to Wikipedia, turn signals have been around since as early as 1907. That's right, turn signals have been around for over a century and people STILL haven't figured out how to use them.

Everyone (including myself) is in such a hurry these days, if more people used their turn signals we would quite possibly reduce the amount of frustration AND traffic accidents on the road. Knowing where someone is headed (the purpose of a turn signal) can help everyone move their vehicle with greater confidence and everyone can maintain higher speeds or get to where they're going faster.

I can't tell you the countless times I pull into the same intersection wanting to turn left, when the person headed toward the instersection doesn't pass me but turns before the intersection coming from either direction. Had they used their turn signal, I could have pulled out already instead of waiting for them to not even pass in front of me.

#106 Receiving Calls (Complaining)

This guy just doesn't quit (annoying me). Here's yet another example of what bothers me about vocal-emissions / blah-blah-blah / interjecting-confirmations-guy.

The purpose of having a cell phone at work is so that you can be reached easily and so that people can reach you easily. Taking calls / emails after business hours? Maybe. Sometimes cell phones are company-mandated (they issue one to you and you have to use it), and to what extent you use your phone is up to you and the expectations of your boss. Taking calls during regular business hours? Well, that's to be expected whether you have a cell phone or not.

First, I'd like to state some facts: this guy willingly volunteered his own personal cell phone for company use and didn't request any reimbursement of his bill for at least six months. He wasn't worried about it until he had to call his boss in a foreign country a few times and his wife bitched him out about his phone bill and the excessive charges. I think it was at that point that he started requesting reimbursement, and I'm pretty sure it was only partial reimbursement at that. His phone is not a smartphone, so he's not bogged down by notifications from emails coming in all the time (not that he's good about checking them, anyways), and the only time his phone rings is if (go figure) someone calls him.

I couldn’t tell you exactly how many phone calls he receives or places in any given day. If I had to guess, I'd say he receives maybe about 6-8 calls per day (perhaps one per hour?), which I don't think is excessive since he's working on some pretty in-demand projects which requires collaboration from a lot of different people in several different places.

However, every time he receives a call, he complains. It's always "Aw, come on!" or "Are you serious?!" or "Ugh, geeeeez..." like he is completely shocked that someone is trying to get hold of him. It's as if he just got off of a three-hour conference call and he can't believe he has to take yet another phone call, or it's as if he had just received 17 calls in a row in the past 20 minutes and he can't believe someone else could possibly need something else from him. His cell phone number isn't even listed in the company directory anywhere, so if he didn't want people to have his number, he could have prevented them from getting it by not actually giving it out in the first place. But, he DID volunteer his own personal cell phone for company use, and he DID volunteer giving out his phone number so that anyone could call him whenever they needed him, so I don't feel sorry for him whatsoever. He did this to himself!

If he really didn't want to take any calls, he should just shut his phone off. I'm pretty sure people would get the idea when the call goes straight to voicemail. He has a desk phone to use, and everyone has that number, too. People can just leave a message and he can get back to them. I mean, his ringtone is annoying enough as it is... perhaps he should just put it on vibrate and maybe it won't annoy HIM as much, either!

#105 Audibly-Ticking Watches

Recently I had to attend a meeting with everyone that works in the same building as me, regarding some topics that applied to me and most that did not. While attempting to NOT look like I was falling asleep, I was quickly distracted by someone behind me who I thought was fidgeting. I HATE fidgeting. I thought this person's leg was literally going to bounce off of their body and land on the floor behind me – that's what it sounded like.

Alas, I was mistaken. It wasn't until after I had already shot the culprit a few dirty looks did I realize that they were not, in fact, fidgeting... it was their wristwatch making the noise.

This person had a wristwatch that ticked 4 times every second. All I could focus on for the rest of this boring meeting was this incessant ticking, and I seriously just wanted to rip the watch right off of this person's arm. It just kept ticking, and ticking, and ticking... My head was about, what, 2 or 2.5 feet from this person's wrist? Why could I hear every single tick that came out of this thing? I'm sure other people could hear it, too. Why weren't they bothered by it? Why wasn't the wearer bothered by it? Does the wearer have a hearing impairment? That would be the only way that I could possibly fathom this person is able to wear that watch without being driven completely mad by the relentless ticking of this fucking watch, but I know for a fact that the wearer can hear just fine.

I understand that mechanical watches require the ticking in order to keep time, but with such a new, sophisticated timepiece that this person was wearing, one would be inclined to think that the manufacturer would have placed greater emphasis on buffering the sound being emitted from the device. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

I am not opposed to people wearing watches – I wear a watch (one that ticks) every day on my wrist. I just don't think watches should be able to be heard any farther away than about 2 inches from one's ear (or less!).

#104 Early Enquiries

Mornings are generally rough for everyone, unless you're one of those freaks who are peppy and spirited all the time (including first thing in the morning)... in which case: you're annoying. So, if we work together and you happen to arrive before me, please wait at least 10 minutes before asking me any questions (or pretty much talking to me in general).

I live about an hour away from where I work. So to be at work by 7am, I have to be up around 5am to leave my house by 6am to make it to work on time. Getting up at 5am doesn't seem to get any easier, even if I have been doing it for over 4 years now. Even after a 1-hour drive into work, I'm still not all that awake – not awake enough to want to talk to anyone about something I can't focus on until I've gotten situated at my desk for a few minutes. Most people drink coffee, but I don't, and I may or may not seek an alternative caffeine source in the morning to get me going, depending on how I'm feeling. Either way, what's the rush?

Regardless of how I'm feeling in the morning, just give me some space. I don't jump all over someone when they first arrive at their desk just because I have something to ask them – it's not polite. I expect them to extend me the same courtesy when I arrive, and I really don't think that's asking too much. Whatever you have to ask me can, and will, wait for me to get situated for the day. Things that I am dealing with on a daily basis are (fortunately) NOT life-or-death situations. So chill the fuck out already.